An update to my family tree - I didn't want

[David Tuson]

A few days ago I made an entry into my family tree that I hope and pray I will never have to do again.
Our 7-year old grandson, Logan, was paddling in the sea at a Raglan beach when he stumbled, was swept out to sea by a rip tide, and drowned. His elder sister and our son (his father) tried desperately to save him. But they were unsuccessful being in danger themselves.
His body was found about an hour later by the Coastguards at the bar into the nearby harbour.
Logan’s mother has Maori ancestors so their cultural protocol was followed.
It begins with the body taken to lie in state, in Logan’s case to his home, for a three day tangi. At least one member of his immediate family stayed at the head of coffin throughout those days.
After the chapel service and interment in his grave, family members filled it in before leaving the cemetery. After that the family returned to house where it was blessed for the living to return.
The local iwi (tribe) at Raglan placed a rahui on the beach – that is closing it for a week to the public as a mark of respect. The evening before the rahui was lifted family members went to the water’s edge and cast flowers into the sea while prayers were said.
Naturally we are all devastated by our loss but the Maori protocol made grieving a lot easier at at the end we found it quite comforting.
The tragedy was posted on Facebook and in amongst the sincere messages of condolence was the thoughtless trolls. If they had taken the time to read the whole posting they would not have been so vindictive.
I posted news of the tragedy on two other forums and have been overwhelmed by complete strangers expressing sympathy. I apologise for taking so long to inform members of this forum – you have been so supportive in my research queries, so I treat you as friends.
My wife and I are slowly getting our lives back on track but our son is still in the dark places more often than good places.
David

[Lesley Robertson]

David, I am so sorry. Please accept my deepest condolences.

No apology is necessary - we all understand. I will be thinking of you.

I had never before seen an account of the Maori ceremonies. They sound beautiful, and I hope that they have brought a little peace to your son and his wife. I know that you’ll be there for them when they need you, but take care of yourselves as well.

As for the trolls, they don’t deserve the attention they crave.

[Megan Roberts]

David,
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

You know that the trolls are worthless, but that doesn't stop them causing distress, so I hope that supportive messages you receive more than outweigh the others.

Megan

[Sandyhall]

I am so sorry for your loss but that sounds like a very nice send off Prayers said for you and your family.

[Sue Mackay]

Deepest condolences David. Logan lives on in your hearts and minds, so cherish memories of the good times. We don't allow trolls here, so rest assured all your friends at BG are thinking of you and your family and wish you all the best at this terrible time.

[sandiep]

so sorry for your loss may Logans ancestors take care of him

[Ladkyis]

My condolences to you and your family. No words can ease the pain so I won't talk.
As for the trolls, well, their champion was outwitted by a goat so we'll not think of them again.

Sending some cwtches (like hugs but with a Welsh accent) because sharing them can be helpful

[Elma]

David
My love to you and all your family at this time of great loss. What a sensitive way, Logan's burial was conducted. I hope that gave you all some comfort. Thank you for sharing this, although I wish you didn't have to.

[christanel]

My deepest condolences to you and your family David.
The Maori death rituals bring so much grace to the grieving process and the rahui was a lovely expression of respect for Logan.

There are idiots in this world who demand their 5 minutes of fame - a pity they can't use it constructively. Let you and your family be comforted by all the lovely stories told by those who knew you and Logan.

Christina

[Pam Downes]

What a heart-breaking post to write, David. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

Other people have already expressed my thoughts re the Maori rituals which sound very comforting.
(They've also expressed my thoughts about trolls, though a few details of what the trolls deserve have been omitted.)

I suspect that many of us are going to give our children and grandchildren an extra big hug next time we see them.
Here's one for you and your family.

Pam