Today I Did The Unthinkable!......

[dylan thermos]

I wrote this piece a little while ago it might make someone smile?.........
Today I did the unthinkable and pumped up my tyres on my (starting to go rusty) bike.My wife bought a cheap pump costing one pound, well it did the job required.
My idea was to cycle so that my right knee would be used, to aid recovery, after knee surgery some months ago.
Wobble ,wobble the first quarter of a mile but then I seemed to get into a rhythm just like the slaves on a viking long boat. Although there was no drummer just the pulse in my neck telling me that I was doing my self some good.Well you got to look on the bright side when you 're in pain.I reminded myself that I was supposed to be enjoying myself.Little good it did.
Once I had done the first two miles I came across some people sitting by the edge of the canal drinking strong larger from dark blue cans.These must be the people David Cameron is talking about, no job and drinking strong larger that I wouldn't buy cos it's too expensive and too strong. Still they seemed happy enough and were n't doing anyone any harm.They even offered me directions when I looked a little lost......bless!
I recognised the brand from the time my son went shopping with my wife and bought four cans of of said firewater.
My wife remarked after the third can" You're not drinking that last one you can hardly stand now?"
That was my initiation to strong larger and the sooner forgotten the better.
Onward I went till I came across the man with the canal hoover.He was merrily cutting down and cleaning out the sides of the canal. I thought to myself "He's never going to be out of work!" Best Dyson I have ever seen, to be sure......
Between the overhanging trees and the walnut whip piles of dog poo I continued my merry way stopping now and again when a) I was knackered or b) The path was too narrow to proceed at a slow pedal.
I had reached the point of my journey that I thought I have to go back, I'm tired now, turn around you fool before you fall in the canal and are drowned.
I stopped a little while for the procession of young boys hurtling down the narrow path as if their lives depended on it.
I shouted after them "Is it a race?" they replied" f**k O** mister!" well I didn't know them?What do you expect this day and age.
Not all the people I met were like this, some stopped to chat, others were in a hurry to get where they were going.
Homeward I ventured stopping to look at an old tree trunk in the park where I turned around.Its base was full of very large mushroom which I wondered were they edible. I decided against this cos I'm a bit of a coward when it comes to eating wild mushrooms. I remember my dad feeding me muscles from a local rocky beach and we ate the beards which you are not supposed to do.
I remember the boils that broke out on our little bodies, he never laughed so
much, in fact he thought it was hilarious. i do now, I'm happy it reminds me of my dad.
God why is this uploading of pictures so slow I seem to wait ages for each picture.
if this carries on this is going to be a very short of pictures blog!!!!!!
Don't mention the baseball bat?
Where was I , oh yes I remember, the mushrooms got a picture of them just for your delectation.
Some time later I find I have no picture of mushrooms there could n't have been much room on my memory card.
I arrived home to find my grand-daughter in horizontal position on settee watching Jeremy Kyle.I said to myself well someones got to watch him.....
I sat down after putting said rusty steed in shed, happy in the knowledge that I had given my knee a good workout.
In fact it was throbbing like a good one.
Just then my better half announced that she was going to return our horizontal descendant to her home.
When they were just leaving I shouted " If you get to the shops pick up a quartet of those dark blue cans I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, my knee is throbbing like a good one?"..............dylanthermos.

[Jan1954]

That is great, Dylan, and yes it did make me smile.

[lawsue]

I really enjoyed that, but I thought that you were going to say that you rang your better half to come to get you so that you could drive the car back and she could ride the bike back up the hill. It's happened in this house.......

[terrysfamily]

That's the sort of story I like to read. Pure down to earth tell it like it happened. even down to the

I shouted after them "Is it a race?" they replied" f**k O** mister!" well I didn't know them? What do you expect this day and age.

Times have changed and so have the manners.

The worst I've heard is a 5 year old using a word I hate, when he couldn't get a kick of a ball. All I'll say is, it started with one of the first 3 letters of the alphabet (and it wasn't A or B). But it makes one wonder what type of language their parents use in front of them.

Very well written, I could picture it all. sadly even the "walnut whip piles of dog poo" I'll never look at a walnut whip in the same way.

Terry

[lawsue]

Many English sayings, products and places defeat me over here, so I usually do a Google to find out what you are talking about Hmm..... walnut whips, found them there on Google. I don't think we get them here, but after it's resemblance to the other I don't think I will go searching for one. They are probably quite delicious though.
Sue

[BayHorse]

Walnut whips? - oh Sue, you haven't lived!

As Terry says, though, I don't think I'll be indulging for a while, though.

[Elma]

Keep writing, I loved it.
Elma

[Lizzy9]

Really enjoyed reading your story, Dylan. Thanks. And it hasn't put me off the delicious walnut whips.

[lawsue]

Ok, you have talked me into it. I have found a sweet shop that sells imported English sweets and is reasonably close to me. So Bayhorse and Dylan I will give it a try. But only one though.

Sue

[Waitabit]

When they were just leaving I shouted " If you get to the shops pick up a quartet of those dark blue cans I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, my knee is throbbing like a good one?"..............dylanthermos.

Did you?