Possible illegitimacy and even suicide

[Ambersand]

Hi, I've just joined and need help to get through a brickwall namely my great, great, great grandfather Richard Henry May's birth, death date and parents. This could be because he was illegitimate and may have committed suicide.
To backtrack.
We've tracked down his Marriage Banns, to Ann O'Brien in 1826. We know they had a son, Charles Henry May in 1827 when he was working for the British Protectorate in Corfu under Sir Frederick Adam (there is a writing desk with an inscription), we know he was back in London in 1830 when Charles was christened in Westminster St Martins in the Fields. Residence given as Rupert Street. Then we know Richard and Ann had another son, Frederick George, who was christened at St James Picadilly while resident at the same address, but he died a year later when they were living in Crozier Street. Both times Richard was described as a Gent.
Nothing is known for certain after. Ann died in 1840 in York St from an inflammation of the lung, so we assume she was in the hospital there. There is a Richd May listed in Brook Street as Independent means in the 1841 census. Charles Henry (we think ) is listed at St Anne's Society school in Streatham in that census aged 13 which fits.
Charles Henry got married to Elizabeth (Carr) Tripp (whose Appraiser father, William, had a shop at 38 York Street). They came out to Australia in 1852 and opened a large Hosiery store in Sydney soon after. We can track nearly all of his descendants from there.
However on Ancestry there is conflict about Richard's birth and death date.
Here's where oral history comes in. Charles's youngest daughter, Mabel May, refers to her father in a letter as being the only son of an only son. That negates the Banstead family, Richard Henry May (b. 1808 d. 1855) which is the most commonly attributed one because he had lots of brothers.
There is another possibility born around 1795 who died in a poorhouse in 1861. I find it hard to believe relatively wealthy Charles would have come out to Australia with his father's possessions and left his dear old Dad there. And the other Richard Henry of the period was a tailor in Sackville St, but his only son was George John according to his will. Yet another was born in Holborn in 1806, but he was a butcher. And another was a farmer in Kent with lots of children.
A memoir by Margaret Pierce written in 1817 describes how she worked for "a" cousin C.H. May (our Charles) for six years after she arrived in Sydney. Her mother was Mary Ann May and we think we have tracked down her baptism to St Mary Magdalene Richmond in 1805 to a Willm and Elizth May.
Here comes the interesting bit. Mary Ann according to her daughter, "entered Royal Service at the Royal Pavilion in Brighton in 1817." It goes on to say she was married to Gregory Potbury who died while changing the drapes to black velvet at Windsor Castle where they were both working in the Toy Tower (confirmed in his death certificate). Mary Ann Potbury appears in the 1841 census as working at Buckingham Palace where, according to the daughter she was head housemaid of the North Wing. Mary Ann died there at the age of 43 in 1848.
This got us wondering about two possible siblings, one who was a Gent and one who was a servant. Assuming Margaret Pierce and C.H. May were first cousins.
What we did find was an entry in St Mary Magdalene Richmond for a Richard May base born son of Rebecca May in 1803 (born Dec 1802).
That started us speculating that possibly the Mays had a tradition of being servants for gentry and Rebecca (who may be William's sister?) bore the child of Gentry who partially supported his son and may have helped him get his job in Corfu???
There was mention that Charles was a Blue Coat boy, not sure if this would have been the case if he was 13 at St Anne's unless he went to the Blue Coat school for the last year or two after 1841? Or maybe Richard had been the Blue Coat boy?
Is it possible Richard committed suicide (his wife had died, he was broke etc etc) would records show up anywhere? He wouldn't have been buried in a church I assume.
Could he have ended up in a debtor's prison? I checked insolvency records and didn't find any in the London Gazette online.
Charles Henry sang in the choir at St Andrews Cathedral Sydney, was a Freemason and very conservative and particular, according to his daughter. He never drank. But he also didn't talk about his father much because there are no "stories" other than the Corfu birth. Was he ashamed? Bitter?
Charles's children were Architect, Engineers and School master, so there was a tradition/expectation of education and success.
But there were also no mentions of cousins called Potbury, so perhaps claiming kinship as cousins is what one did when arriving in a new country and needing a job and finding someone with the same name?
Suggestions of how to trace family trees if there is illegitimacy would be welcome. Ditto suicides, just in case. Any leads for the Corfu staffing details?

[shippo]

Ann died in 1840 in York St from an inflammation of the lung, so we assume she was in the hospital there.

Does Ann's death cert.[1840] state if she is a widow etc?

Also if you have the marriage cert. for Richard and Ann's son does it state if father, Richard, is alive or deceased?

[Ambersand]

Hi, great minds think alike. I just discovered on Charles Marriage actual certificate his father is listed as Richard May, Secretary, so I assume he is still alive then. (Didn’t have that info until today)

That rules out some Richard May’s.....question is whether that job reference was to his employment on Corfu? Or would it refer to a current position?

[shippo]

and may have committed suicide.

Why or what makes you think there could have been a suicide?

[Ambersand]

Hi, more it’s a possibility I didn’t want to discount so wanted to know how they were treated as far as records went. Giving me another place to check. Were they reported in the paper?

Currently we’re amassing a list of who he isn’t for sure from electoral registers, wills, tax records and trade directories, then once I deduct those from birth, death and census,I’ll try to investigate who is left.
Families were pretty tight lipped about suicides in those days.

He could have also changed his name and fled to the continent to escape creditors.

[shippo]

Hi, do you have the death cert. for Ann who died 1840, just wondering if it noted if she was a widow at the time of her death and who the informant of her death was.

[shippo]

Published: Saturday 20 January 1838
Newspaper: Windsor and Eton Express
County: Berkshire, England

On the 15th instant, Mr. Gregory Potbury, of the New Road, Windsor, in the 34th year of his age. Some time since the unfortunate deceased, while employed in putting the furniture in Windsor a tie. fell from some high step: and received such severe injuries that his life was then despaired of.

[shippo]

have you checked this will? If not they are free to download from National archives uk at the moment.


Will of Richard Henry May of Haymarket , Middlesex
Reference: PROB 11/2214/225
Description: Will of Richard Henry May of Haymarket , Middlesex
Date: 18 June 1855
Held by: The National Archives, Kew
Legal status: Public Record(s)
Closure status: Open Document, Open Description

[Ambersand]

Yep, this is the one born in 1808 that most Public Trees mistakenly call our Richard. He was a fishmonger (also sold venison) who lived at 14 Norris Street. He was born in Banstead, had lots of siblings and 3 children including a Charles. However he married an Eliza. But thanks for checking. I’m currently compiling a database of Richard’s from the 1841 census which will help.

[Ambersand]

Published: Saturday 20 January 1838
Newspaper: Windsor and Eton Express
County: Berkshire, England

On the 15th instant, Mr. Gregory Potbury, of the New Road, Windsor, in the 34th year of his age. Some time since the unfortunate deceased, while employed in putting the furniture in Windsor a tie. fell from some high step: and received such severe injuries that his life was then despaired of.

Yeah this matches the memoir we have. There is a few more interesting facts, so I sent a copy of the memoir to the a Royal archives. It was a sixteen foot ladder and he was changing the drapes to black as King William had just died. Gregory died a couple of days later.