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  1. #1
    Newcomer to Brit-Gen
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    Default help finding my adopted sister

    Hi,

    im an 18 year old male. I recently found out i have a sister who would now be 16 (17 this july) who was adopted at birth. I am going to start a search for her and i will do all i can until i find her. i have minimum details. all i know is... she was named H***y (although i expect that changed when she was adopted) she was born in freedom fields hospital(which has now been knocked down), the surname of the people who adopted her was B*****m, she was born 13th july 1991 and had blue eyes. What is the first step i need to take in my search? who do i speak to and where do i go? what details/Identification will i need and will they release any details atall about her? Im really upset about this whole issue as she has me (a brother) and 2 younger sisters. my life wont be complete until i find her! im hoping she is still in Plymouth(U.K).... please please if anyone can help me e-mail me or leave some information here. anything would be greatly appreciated! i just want my sister ='(

  2. #2
    MarkJ
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    It would be worth having a look around the forum - using the search facility. Some good ideas have been mentioned before which may well help. My own initial suggestion would be the Salvation Army - they do a lot of work in this field.

    Mark

  3. #3
    Knowledgeable and helpful suedent's Avatar
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    It might also be worth contacting the Social Services department for the area your mum was living in.
    It may be Plymouth but as Freedom Fields had quite a large catchment area, it could be Caradon Council (Cornwall) or South Hams council (Devon).
    Sue Dent, Assistant Projects Officer Polperro FHS

  4. #4
    Knowledgeable and helpful Ken Boyce's Avatar
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    Hi Alex
    The issue of the ethical aspects of locating ones kin lost due to adoption comes up regularly in almost every genealogy forum and postbox.

    There are always at least three or four persons involved - the adopted, the adoptor, the parent, and in your case one or more siblings.

    Any one of these parties may be adversely affected if by revelation of a possible adoption and one has to be very careful not to barge into the lives of others particularly if you get it wrong

    To seek advice on how to set about tracing a lost one is ok but to publish identifying details on an open forum such as this one where the postings will appear in all major commercial sites such as Google within hrs of being posted here is in my opinion not the way to go about dealing with your problem There are professional organizations that will help in cases such as yours

    Regards

  5. #5
    Super Moderator - Completely bonkers and will never change.
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    Hi Alex,
    I was in the middle of writing a similar message to the one Ken has posted.
    I can understand your eagerness to find your sister, and let her know that she has other siblings, because I've recently found descendants of the second marriage of my great-grandfather and would love to have contact with them. I traced their address via the phone book and wrote, but as yet have received no reply. It could be that the letter got lost in the (October) postal strike, it could be that there were family problems at the time they received my letter - or it could just be that they don't want to know me. And as sad as that makes me feel, I will just have to live with it.
    In your case, your sister is not yet 18, and I think that you would not be allowed to make contact through official channels until she is 18. Harsh it might seem, but there are good reasons for that age limit. You could try through unofficial channels but I would certainly not advise it. If it causes a major upset in your sister's life there is no way that she will ever want to know you. There was a programme on TV just before Christmas about much older people searching for their birth parents who had walked out of their lives when they were children, and they all say that they thought very long and hard before they even set the search wheels in motion.
    The Salvation Army cannot help with tracing people where adoption has taken place - nor if they're under 16/17 years of age.
    https://www.look4them.org.uk/salvation-army.html
    Sue's idea about contacting Social Services is a very good one. They will know all about the Adoption Contact Register.
    https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/ad...ster/index.asp
    and should also be able to give you sound advice.
    You don't mention your mother. If she is still alive, does she know about your need to find your sister, and have you even discussed it with your mum?
    I wish you a successful outcome in your search, but speaking as someone who is old enough to be your granny please tread very carefully, because life doesn't always have the happy ending we would wish for.

    In the meantime, unless Bo Peep, who is the owner and administrator of this forum has already done so, you must remove your sister's first name, and the surname of her adoptive parents from your message. (To do this, click on 'edit'.) I can't quote the exact paragraph but it's all to do with the Data Protection Act.
    Pam
    Last edited by Pam Downes; 05-02-2008 at 12:28 PM. Reason: Amended in Feb 2008 when I finally realised I'd put 'extra' instead of 'exact'.

  6. #6
    Newcomer to Brit-Gen
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    thanks for all your replys.

    i apologize for posting some details i shouldnt of, i guess im still only a kid myself and have alot to learn.

    Regards,

  7. #7
    Super Moderator - Completely bonkers and will never change.
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    Hi Alex,
    If it makes you feel any better, I remember a couple of years ago that a much older forum member than you also posted very personal details of someone still living. Quite funny to read, but also a very ' - you can't say that on a public forum' moment.
    The posting of personal details probably still occasionally happens, but not in relation to something quite as sensitive as your search.
    Pam

  8. #8
    Newcomer to Brit-Gen
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    Like i said, im a kid looking for a kid... i have no help from my family in this search and im on my own... but i will do everything i can to track her down..i just want to know she is happy in her life... if she wants nothing to do with me or my family i will accept that (as hard as it will be) but i just want to know she is ok and happy.

    Im sorry for posting personal info, i guess i wasnt thinking straight and the craving to find her took over.

    happy new year to all....

  9. #9
    Newcomer to Brit-Gen
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    Thanks Bo, any help is greatly appreciated.

  10. #10
    Settling in.
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    Default Help finding my adopted sister

    Hi Alex,

    Can I pm to you? I have assisted a number of people locate adopted family,in a very non-personal way,no-one has ever been offended by our approach,it just may help get the ball rolling for you.....



    Gill

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