Confusing Smiths

[Essexgirl]

My great grandfather was a William Smith. My father told me that as he remembers him. I found record of his birth and marriage on BMD, both in the name of William Smith. He is also recorded on my grandmother's marriage certificate as her father, again as William Smith. Today a cousin has been to find his grave, which is exactly where my father said it would be, except that he has suddenly become Henry William Smith. His wife's name and the dates of their deaths seem to tie in with family knowledge, and their son is buried with them - we know he never married - although his date of death is a bit iffy. We never knew when he died, but it was thought to be before his parents, as my grandmother took charge of her parents' funerals and estate, presumably as the only surviving child. It is thought possibe that his ashes may have been buried with his parents some years after his actual death.
As the grave is exactly where my father remembered, is it possible or likely my cousin found the wrong grave? Or could he really have been Henry William all his life and just called himself William? Surely the wrong name couldn't have been put on his gravestone. I can't find him on any censuses, but the family moved around a bit, and Smith is hardly an unusual name.
Does anyone have any ideas? My cousin is in poor health and has a bit of a bee in his bonnet about finding out about his family while he can.

[jeeb]

Hi Essexgirl,
Yes it is very probably your greatgrandfather was known all his life by a different name to the one he was baptised, thats common even today. My mother has always been known by her second name and only recently did I discover that one of my closest friends I have always known as Keith was actually christened John. There may be several reasons for this, usually though if a child has been known by a different name than his/her christened name it is when the child was named after the father but to save confusion is known by their second name. When it comes to legal matters or marriages or burials the correct baptismal/ registered name is the usual used name. Take a walk around a church yard, its amazing how many times it is written on a gravestone, eg. Henry (William) Smith denoting the real name and the name the deceased was commonly known as. You say your great grandfather put his name as only William on your Grandparents marriage certificate, that is slightly unusual but not entirely unique. Who put the gravestone to your Great grandparents? That would be worth knowing.
Cheers Jeremy

[Essexgirl]

Thanks for that Jeremy. The bit that really surprised me was that the only place he used the name Henry was on his gravestone. Every other record of him is just as William. I would have thought he would have given his legal name on his daughter's marriage certificate, for example. His son was in the Royal Navy, and was killed in 1919. Even the War Graves Commission website records him as the son of "William and Jane."
I know my grandmother (incidentally named after her mother and always known by her second Christian name) took care of things when her mother (William's wife) died, and inherited the small estate. She sold the house and bought herself a new cooker and a TV to watch the Queen's coronation! However William died first so the widow may have put up a headstone, or my grandmother may have done it for both of them. My parents were just preparing for their own wedding at the time, and they simply can't remember. I suppose it could have been a mistake on her part.
I wish they could have had the courtesy to have a more unusual name to make them easier to trace! Most of the information I have found on them is just confirmation of what was already known in the family, as my dad used to spend summer holidays with his grandparents and remembers them well. Dad's cousin lived a lot nearer to them most of the time, but his memory is not good because of his health problems, and he was moved away from the area as a child because his mother died young.
Thanks again for your help.
Essexgirl
(and proud of it)

[Diane Grant-Salmon]

In my husband's family, someone called Polly Cullum was married to someone called George Twiddy. It took me a long time to get 'a handle' on these two, believe me! I found out from census (searched for Polly's Parents) that she was called Mary Ann, but could find no George Twiddy. :(

I bought Mary Ann's marriage certificate and found out that George was Sidney Gordon, then later, his birth certificate said Sydney! :eek:

[DebbieAnn]

My father was born and named James Roy Ray by his mother. His father went down to the town clerk the next day to change it to Robert Roy Ray, but he and the clerk got to celebrating the birth with a wee nip and the clerk instead changed his father's name from Alexander to Albert! Dad was known his whole life as Robert (or Bob), and his school records, military service, marriage, death, and our birth and marriage records list him under that name. But it was never legally changed from James. It made getting a copy of his birth record a bit tricky, but future generations may just draw a blank when looking for the birth of Robert Roy Ray. His father, rather than try to change his own name back, simply went by Al. Only his second wife called him Albert.

Debbie

[Mythology]

"the only place he used the name Henry was on his gravestone. Every other record of him is just as William."

In which case, while he *may* be Henry William, there is no evidence that *he* used the name Henry at all, is there?
What people did with their own names while they were alive is bad enough - what other people did with them after they died, in their attempts to "posh up a peasant" can be even worse.
I have one fellow who is plain Arthur. At some stage, once he's left home, *he* has decided that he will be "Art" and appears as such on census and other records - fair enough.
A biographer has decided that the colloquial "Art" is much too common-sounding, and, instead of finding out what his name actually was, has decided that Art is really Artemus.
Children who decided that "we can't bury dad as plain Fred" are sometimes equally guilty.

[Essexgirl]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I have come to the conclusion that either my grandmother made a mistake and gave her dad a new name, or that he used the extra name at some point because he thought it sounded better or whatever. I have now been told that he gave a different place of birth sometimes, because the one he chose was "posher" than his true place of birth. I seem to be dealing with one of the family eccentrics!
Thanks again
Essexgirl
(and proud of it)

[ChristineR]

It might be worth trying to get burial details from the cemetery office. It may not be your William SMITH at all, did the cousin stop looking when he saw this headstone? He may be just a grave away, still in the right area. You said the date of death was a bit iffy.

Have you found a BMD entry for the death of Henry William SMITH for the time and place on the headstone?

The other thing - sometimes headstones were erected long after a death, or names added to existing headstones later on. There could have been an error by the stonemasons. Another reason to seek burial records from the cemetery.

Christine