Spring Competition - AND THE WINNER IS....

[Jan1954]

Over the years of researching, I have had the opportunity to visit many graveyards and cemeteries. I love reading the inscriptions on the graves – some are poignant, but others show that a sense of humour lurked beneath the sadness.

This competition is about the latter.

This is your chance to either post the most amusing Memorial Inscription that you have seen – or even make one up!

Votes will be cast after the closing date of Monday 9th April 2012, at 7:00pm (BST) through the setting up of a poll, with a further week being available for you to cast your vote.

The prize is a copy of Discover Gloucestershire Ancestors (http://www.parishchest.com/discover_gloucestershire_ancestors_vol_1__P93955).

After 20 years of researching at Gloucestershire Archives, Elizabeth Jack decided to share her expertise and has written the first volume of Discover Gloucestershire Ancestors , which is a guide to using the archives, and a book that can help the researcher trace all the basic records as well as many of the lesser known documents that exist locally.

Even if you do not have ancestors in Gloucestershire, the information, hints and tips in this book will be of the most valuable assistance to anyone searching Archive records.

So, for a chance to win this great book, all you have to do is post an amusing Memorial Inscription on this thread. You can submit up to three entries each.

I look forward to reading them!

[Ladkyis]

I believe it was Spike Milligan who asked that "See, I told you I was ill!" should be on his gravestone. Apparently when his executors tried to have this they were told it would not be allowed so they had an inscription in the Irish Gaelic which was acceptable.

The translation reads "See, I told you I was ill"

[jeeb]

The most amusing inscription I have read was on a gravestone in the original churchyard of St John in Bedwardine, Worcester. This was an old memorial stone and sadly disappeared several years ago when the majority of the gravestones were removed. Unfortunately I can't remember the name on the memorial but the verse read:-

**** free where ere you may be, because farting not was the death of me.

I often wonder what was the real cause of death!

Jeremy

[Colin Rowledge]

Whenever I travel into the U.S. if, on an overnight stop, there is a small rural cemetery nearby, I'll take a stroll through it. Just curiousity, but they hold a facination!!

In Arkansas, in early 1970, I stopped at a rural motel and diner. No T.V. but good beer [for American]. I aked the waitress what one did of an evening - and she gave me the 'come hither look'. She was nice but I declined the offer!! With a 6-pack, I left and in the parking lot was a chap who noticed my Ontario plates and we got to chatting. After killing most of the 6-pack, he told me about the local cemetery.

There was an interesting site. 2 graves, side by side, and between a large plaque. Each grave had a similar headstone. On one it read "Here lies Lester Duguid - 1834- 1859". Next to it, the other read "Here lies Webster Duguid - 1834-1859".
The large plaque had the following inscription - "2 brothers - born together, lived together, fought together and died together. Neither lived up to their name. Erected in their memory by members of the family who hope for better things". It was dated 1890.

I had to leave the next day and couldn't follow it through and since then haven't been back to Arkansas.

This, to me, exemplies a very dry sense of humour of a family who originated in the U.K. possibly Scotland - but is also poignant in the message that it delivered to later generations of the Duguid family.

Colin

[deeree]

How about this one:

Here lies an athiest,
All dressed up and nowhere to go.

[deeree]

And another one:

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot
Who was accidentally killed
In the 45th year of his age
This monument was erected by
his grateful family.

[stepives]

Whilst at my wifes Grandfathers funeral in Fyvie, Aberdeenshire, we had a wander around the gravestones......as you do.
We came across this line, engraved on the bottom of the gravestone.

'If whisky be the food of life, why am I here'.

[Mutley]

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has this epitaph:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
:lol:

[Jane Elderfield]

This is the way I remember an epitaph from a book by "Norris" of the Vancouver B.C. Sun newspaper, probably in the 1950's:

Here lies Herbert De Witt Wright.
He read too much, and died of fright.

--Jane Elderfield

[Thomasin]

Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder
Who died after taking a Sedlitz powder.
If she'd waited until it had effervesced
She wouldn't have gone to her heavenly rest.

[Thomasin]

Here's one which should be read with a Lancashire accent to make it rhyme:

Joseph son of Joseph and Sarah
Lees of Middleton Mill who
departed this life September
2nd 1810 aged 5 months.

I was to my Parents as a Rose,
Tender sweet and good,
But soon you see Death call'd for me,
And nip'd me in the Bud.

[busyglen]

I found this one several years ago, and I think it is posted here somewhere.

A Grave Mistake

"After 8 years of searching the Parish Registers for a name to match the initials H.W.P on a stone slab in his church, the Rev. Phillip Randall of Eye near Petersborough, has solved the mystery.

The initials stand for `Hot Water Pipe' " :)

Glenys

[helachau]

The following epitaph appears on a gravestone in Hughenden churchyard -

"Here lies John Guy beneath the sod,
Who loved his friends and feared his God;
Also Mary, his wife"

[Colin Rowledge]

One from my travels in the Wild West

In Arizona was this one:

Here lies Abner B Goode
In his life he did no good.
With his death, there ain'it much loss
His wife can now carry on with his boss

R.I.P Abner.

[pennydog]

How about a topical one?

To the Memory of Everett Edward Elliott of the Heroic Crew SS "Titanic" Died on Duty April 15th 1912, Aged 24 years

Each Man Stood at his Post while all the Weaker Ones went By,
And Showed Once More to all the World how Englishmen should Die.

[Coromandel]

Here's an unusual memorial in the form of a puzzle:

http://www.
flickr.com/photos/33514866@N00/401204813

I can't take any credit for discovering this one (I read about it in a family history society journal some years ago) so don't think it should count as a competition entry!

P.S. I have deliberately given a link to a site that doesn't show the solution. If you want to cheat you can find the answer elsewhere.

[Elwyn Soutter]

John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife:

Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
Now she's at rest, and so am I.

[AnnB]

My Mum told me this one many years ago, but I don't know where it came from - or even if it is 'real' :smile5:

Where'er you be,
Let your wind go free.
For holding it in,
Was the death of me.

Best wishes
Ann

[Sue Mackay]

I can't claim credit for finding this one, as it was on the Internet, but there is apparently an MI at Dorchester Abbey in Oxfordshire which reads

Here lies one who for medicine would not give
A little gold; and so his life he lost;
I fancy that he'd wish again to live
Did he but know how much his funeral cost.

[Mutley]

http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r297/MutleyBG/gravestone.jpg

Here lies my Wife, in Earthy Mold
Who when she Died did naught but Scold,
Good Friends go softly, in your walking,
Lest she should Wake and Rise up Talking

[Colin Rowledge]

The following may not qualify as it is not from a cemetery but from an "In Memorium" in a newspaper. Apparently, the proprietor of the newspaper had some 'interaction' with the named person.

Richard Soul 1930-1960

A year since the death of Richard Soul
A man known by many names
and in his life played many 'games'
For me, he wil be remembered as R. Soul.

He was 30 when he died
and in that time he always lied
Those he met and knew him well.
our hope is that he is in h--l

Not a nice man was Richard

[DaveinInskip]

Boot Hill,Tombstone,Arizona

Here Lies
Lester Moore
Four slugs from a 44
No Less
No More


Dave in Inskip

[pennydog]

Here is one that I can only claim to have read online

Anna Wallace

The Children of Israel wanted Bread
And the Lord sent them Manna,
Old Clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna

[Thomasin]

Off the internet:

Here lies Ann Mann
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann

Dec 8 1767

[Mutley]

In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.
- To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went. :lol:

[Sue Mackay]

From "Quaint Epitaphs" collected by Susan Darling Safford 1895

A Watch-maker's Epitaph

Copied from a tomb-stone in Wales by old Sexton Brown, the once famous sexton of Grace Church, N. Y.

Here lies in a horizontal position the outside case of George Rutlege watch-maker, whose abilities in that line were an honor to his profession.

Integrity was the main-spring of all the actions of his life. Humane, honest and industrious his hands never stopped until they had relieved distress.

He had the art of disposing of his time in such a way that he never went wrong except when set agoing by persons who did not know his key, and even then was easily set right again.

He departed this life wound up in the hope of being taken in hand by his Maker, thoroughly cleaned, regulated and repaired and set going in the world to come.

[Sue Mackay]

And for a GROAN 'poetic' offering, also from "Quaint Epitaphs":

Here lies the bones of Richard Lawton
Whose death alas! was strangely brought on.
Trying his corns one day to mow off.
His razor slipped and cut his toe off.
His toe or rather what it grew to,
An inflimation quickly flew to.
Which took alas! to mortifying
And was the cause of Richards dying.

[lesleys]

from a future headstone:

Here lies a Brit-Gen moderator
There was nobody could hate her.
She helped us missing folk to find,
When we messed up was always kind.
If she could only help us still...
..we'd know what happened to great uncle Bill!

[Jan1954]

Keep voting! You only have until this evening to make your vote count. :wink5:

[Jan1954]

The voting has now closed and I see that there is a tie for first place. Therefore, I will ask an independent adjudicator (Frank Drake) if he will make the casting vote.

Watch this space for the final decision! :smile5:

[Jan1954]

Well, Frank has read the entries and made his decision and the winner is..... (drum roll....)

helachau!

Congratulations! :party:

Please PM your name and address to me so that we can arrange for your prize to be posted to you.

[Sue Mackay]

Llongyfarchiadau |jumphappy

[spison]

Congratulations Helachau! :clap:
Jane

[Mutley]

Congratulations on a well deserved win.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r297/MutleyBG/samp0ade917c91ef7c09-1-2.jpg

[Waitabit]

Well done RHelachau, great to see your win.

[pennydog]

Congratulation on your win helachau, enjoy your prize

[deeree]

:yes:Congratulations helachau, your win was well deserved.

[Gododdin]

Da iawn a llongyfarchiadau!

[susan-y]

Congrratulations helachau! I bet a lot of folks are cheered up while visiting that cemetery after reading that.
Congratualtions also to Mutley... I really like the fact that your headstone picture for "proof' was there..

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Respect/respect-067.gif

Sue

[AnnB]

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a173/AnnB_/congratulations-5.gif helachau

It does make you wonder whether the inscription was by design or accident........:wink5:

Best wishes
Ann

[busyglen]

CONGRATULATIONS - Helachau

Well done. :)

Glenys

[terrysfamily]

Congrratulations helachau, Very well done http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Happy/happy-048.gif

[helachau]

Thanks everyone for the kind messages.
I'm with "AnneB" on this one - "design or accident". I had wondered whether this had been brought about by someone with a twinkle in their eye!
But there must be so many examples of unwitting humour out there.

[Lizzy9]

Sorry to be late in responding but better late than never!

Many congratulations Helachau, it's a well deserved win.

Enjoy your prize,

Lizzy