Sheleen
29-04-2005, 5:53 PM
I have been researching my family for just over a year now, and (much as other people I suspect) have found stories about relatives long gone that have touched me, or made me smile - even made me cry.
My grandma was always a bit of a mystery - it was only two weeks ago that I discovered her real name! I think secrecy must be a family trait - because grandma's secrets became her sons' secrets too - my father never spoke of his mum or her past. Until now, that is. Discovering grandma was actually called Ellen and not Cassandra was a bit of a shock to everyone -but it seemed to be the catalyst for snippets of honest being found....
I telephoned my dad a few nights ago "Hey guess what I found out? Grandma's name was Ellen!" Dad's reply was not so enthusiatic... he had tried to avoid talking about his mum for most of my life. He did ask how I'd found out though... and so I told him of how tracing his mothers surname, I had eventually found the registry of her death, and how I had wept when I saw it on the computer screen... like it was the moment of her death there for everyone to see - the day her life stopped. And then he told me..."She was an accomplished pianist, did you know?"
Finally, I realised with a jolt... my father was going to tell me all about the woman he knew, he was going to let me in on discovering what she was REALLY like. So I asked him, tentatively... why did she not play the piano when she was older... why didn't I know all about her talent? It would have been one of the few things that bound together mother and son - for my dad is quite an accomplished piano player also. Perhaps that was it... the one thing that made my father feel closer to his mum was something he wanted to keep to himself - it was something just for him to know, something that if he shared, might not seem so special. But now was the time for sharing, just a little bit.
I told him all the little things I had known about her - from being a soldiers' daughter raised in quarters at Worthy Down, to her singing and dancing a cabaret number in her back garden in 1982 (the only time I remember ever meeting my grandma, and staying with her for two weeks). I'm sure there was a tear in his eye when he finally let me in... he told me something quite special: On VE Day, my grandma (being such a brilliant pianist) was chosen to play the organ at Sandhurst College, admist all the grand celebrations that were held there. It may not seem a lot to other people... but for me, I knew that my grandma had been a star- if only for one day. It was a great honour for her to be chosen, appaerently. She could have been a star to everyone had she carried on playing... but she never did. I don't know why she gave up playing the piano - and even if my dad knows, he's not ready to tell me everything yet. Maybe one day though...
My grandma was always a bit of a mystery - it was only two weeks ago that I discovered her real name! I think secrecy must be a family trait - because grandma's secrets became her sons' secrets too - my father never spoke of his mum or her past. Until now, that is. Discovering grandma was actually called Ellen and not Cassandra was a bit of a shock to everyone -but it seemed to be the catalyst for snippets of honest being found....
I telephoned my dad a few nights ago "Hey guess what I found out? Grandma's name was Ellen!" Dad's reply was not so enthusiatic... he had tried to avoid talking about his mum for most of my life. He did ask how I'd found out though... and so I told him of how tracing his mothers surname, I had eventually found the registry of her death, and how I had wept when I saw it on the computer screen... like it was the moment of her death there for everyone to see - the day her life stopped. And then he told me..."She was an accomplished pianist, did you know?"
Finally, I realised with a jolt... my father was going to tell me all about the woman he knew, he was going to let me in on discovering what she was REALLY like. So I asked him, tentatively... why did she not play the piano when she was older... why didn't I know all about her talent? It would have been one of the few things that bound together mother and son - for my dad is quite an accomplished piano player also. Perhaps that was it... the one thing that made my father feel closer to his mum was something he wanted to keep to himself - it was something just for him to know, something that if he shared, might not seem so special. But now was the time for sharing, just a little bit.
I told him all the little things I had known about her - from being a soldiers' daughter raised in quarters at Worthy Down, to her singing and dancing a cabaret number in her back garden in 1982 (the only time I remember ever meeting my grandma, and staying with her for two weeks). I'm sure there was a tear in his eye when he finally let me in... he told me something quite special: On VE Day, my grandma (being such a brilliant pianist) was chosen to play the organ at Sandhurst College, admist all the grand celebrations that were held there. It may not seem a lot to other people... but for me, I knew that my grandma had been a star- if only for one day. It was a great honour for her to be chosen, appaerently. She could have been a star to everyone had she carried on playing... but she never did. I don't know why she gave up playing the piano - and even if my dad knows, he's not ready to tell me everything yet. Maybe one day though...