....or is it ?

[BeeE586]

I don't know whether I am glad or sorry.

A very dear friend with German Jewish ancestry asked me to try to find a family believed lost in the Holocaust. I Googled for several websites, and then watched the repeat of Stephen Fry on WDYTYA where he mentioned the database Yad Vishen. I entered the name and found a person who could be my friend's grandfather transported from Germany to a ghetto in Czechoslvakia and from there to Auschwitz where he perished.

Is this good news or not ? Is it better to know than to surmise ? All I DO know is that this is the closest I have come to the remotest personal contact with this tragedy and it is a most unhappy and disturbing feeling, even after all the years that have passed. I do wonder if I have done the right thing.

Eileen

[AdeleE]

Is it better to know than to surmise ?
Eileen

I'd say that it is better to know. For your part, you can do you best to determine if this is your friend's grandfather before you tell him/her, but from what you've said, it appears that your friend thought his grandfather had perished in the Holocaust and was looking for an answer.

If you can help your friend find the answer, then he/she can go through the necessary and hopefully cleansing grieving process, and have the opportunity to honour his memory.

[spison]

Oh how awful. I can't really advise but my only thought is that if the family hasn't had any contact from them in all these years, they probably have the suspicion that the possibility existed and are searching for truth.

I also have a dear friend who only recently learned that her father was 'spirited out' as a child to Australia shortly after 'crystal night' (which I can't write in German) and that his family later perished. She is apparantly entitled now to some small form of compensation from somewhere in Germany or Austria (I'm sorry I don't know where) as her father has now dead and she (and her siblings) are the only living relatives. I know she was shocked and saddened when she discovered the holocaust connection but she had never met these ancestors so it was a little easier.

Jane

[Jan65]

This is such a sad discovery and I can totally empathise with your feelings. I had a terrible shock when I discovered that my great grandfather's brother had committed suicide by cutting his throat in the 1920s, even though none of my living family knew him, or were even aware of his existence until I started doing the family tree. It brings it home that the names we are researching were real, living people, just like us, some of whom went through some truly terrible times.

I think as your friend had asked you to search, knowing that anything found may not be good news, means that your friend wants to know what happened and is looking for the truth.

It's hard, though, isn't it? Good luck Eileen.

[AnnB]

I agree that as your friend asked for your help, and must have realised that the chances of there being a 'happy' outcome of any search was fairly remote, you should tell them what you have found.

Hard one to know how to approach it Eileen, but I'm sure you will do it admirably.

Good luck
Ann

[Copper]

My mother in law spent years finding out what had happened to her mother in Germany. She suspected the worst but the not knowing was harder to live with I think.

Her mother died in the Holocaust.

The survivors filled in paperwork with the information they had and then updated it when they knew for sure what had happened to their families. I have looked on the Yad Vishen and seen the paperwork which my in laws completed.

Yes Germany is still paying out money to people like my mother in law. She gets a small German pension.

[susan-y]

As everyone else has been saying, I'm sure your friend is looking for closure and will accept what you tell them you have found. I'm sure since no one has heard from the family members since the war they know the answers....they just want to know where to pay their last respects.
I cannot imagine living with those memories.... I get nightmares watching documentarys on TV.

Sue

[liesl]

I don't know much about these histories, or how your friend will take the news.

I have been to a concentration camp in the Czech Republic called Terizin (not sure of spelling), it was also on WDYTYA on the Jerry Springer episode, very interesting (I cried for most of my time there). I know it was also used as sort of a 'through' camp for people being sent on to Poland....

I hope your friend gets some closure, even if it is emotional for her.

Thinking of you

Liesl

[JAP1]

Dear Eileen,

You say that your "friend with German Jewish ancestry asked me to try to find a family believed lost in the Holocaust".

You have found a website which will help your friend in his/her quest:
http://www.yadvashem.org/

It seems to me that you must tell your friend about this website.

Offer to help but leave it up to your friend to decide whether to accept your own offer of help in the search, or whether he/she would prefer to search the website in his/her own time.

The Grandmother of my own dear friends is on that site having been sent to Theresienstadt from Berlin. It breaks my heart to read her name. But I have no doubt that my friends (and their parents) wanted to know what had happened to her and would have despaired had others attempted in any way to hide any source of information from them.

Best regards,

JAP

[BeeE586]

I am deeply touched by your messages but saddened to know that some of you have faced the same or a similar situation. I have passed on the information since I had been asked to find out what I could and now we will pursue the matter together. There were others with the same surname mentioned on the database and we need to find out if they were other family members.

Thank you for your interest.

Eileen

[liesl]

Eileen,

I am glad to know your friend will have your support through his/her journey.

Good luck with it all

Liesl