Poor Mans Divorce-Bigamy

[topo60]

I have now come to the conclusion that my Grandmother had a Poor Mans Divorce - Bigamy! After searching for over 12 years for my grandfather - he walked out of the church after the marriage ceremony and never stopped! My grandmother remarried as a widow 6 years later (I can't find grandfathers death anywhere). Now comes the interesting bit. Her parents also had second marriages - without divorcing - each claiming the other as deceased but both living to a 'ripe old age'. All these 'marriages' occured between 1910 - 1930. Was 'Poor Mans Divorce' common or just perculiar to my family?

[Mike_E]

The surnames you a researching don't happen to be Beal, Lally or Galloway by any chance?

I've got similar on my tree.


Mike

[topo60]

Sorry Mike - none of your family names match. Mine are Robinson, Glover and Sutton (and I know there are others I haven't found yet! - somewhere in London)
Judith

[robbieuk]

Hello,
I wonder whether in towns and cities where people could be relatively anonymous, this was common practice? I have one nacestor who married his next door neighbout at 19, and then within 3 years had the first of five kids with another, older woman who took his name and called herselkf his 'wife'. I think perhaps he simply left the wife and shacked up with the older woman, with whom he stayed for the rest of his life. These days, the yougn couple would have divorced to split their estate, but in the 1870s that wasn't an option.
Rob

[Colin Moretti]

I have one in the 1890s - the wife in this case "married" a long-time boyfriend - some of the children certainly knew about it (the proper husband died 10 years later living with one of the sons) and there is quite a lot of confusion about the father's name in subsequent marriages (was it Joseph, the proper father, or Wallace, the later "husband"?).

Colin

[Wilkes_ml]

I have a few cases where the women left their husbands and lived with another man, taking the new man's surname. And one man who appears with a new "wife". But so far I haven't found any evidence of bigamy. I haven't managed to find the 2nd marriages in any of my families, so they all seemed to stay within the law.

[molly]

Hi, i have Robinsons in my tree, one of the men had been married before but we did not find out untill he had died. It was a big shock for all the family, Have not gone that far back with them at the mo, my Robinsons are from Blackpool :D

Mollyx

[Noreen]

I have now come to the conclusion that my Grandmother had a Poor Mans Divorce - Bigamy! After searching for over 12 years for my grandfather - he walked out of the church after the marriage ceremony and never stopped! My grandmother remarried as a widow 6 years later (I can't find grandfathers death anywhere). Now comes the interesting bit. Her parents also had second marriages - without divorcing - each claiming the other as deceased but both living to a 'ripe old age'. All these 'marriages' occured between 1910 - 1930. Was 'Poor Mans Divorce' common or just perculiar to my family?
---------------------

I think I have a like situation.My grt.grandmom married Wm.Chell in 1879.Son born in 1880~1881 she and son are living with her parents.1883 another son born,both boys are Chells.1884 my grandfather is born~10 Marsh St.Hanley,no mention of dad after wedding date,grandad is named Ernest Jones.Grandmom marries again in 1886,no mention of divorce or death~we can find no trace of him (Wm.).Second husband "adopts" Ernest,three come to the States leaving two older sons in England.What a mess!! I honestly think they didn't bother to divorce not only in England but here in the States also! They didnt have records like they do now.Take care,Noreen..
_____
P.S. forgot to mention~my father,also Ernest was a "dead ringer" for the Patrick McVicker who married granny and "adopted" Ernest Sr..!!!

[bwarnerok]

[QUOTE=Noreen;118072]---------------------

I honestly think they didn't bother to divorce not only in England but here in the States also!
QUOTE]

I think you can add Canada to that list as well.
My ggrandmother Lexie Maclean married Thomas Cull in Toronto and had 3 daughters. Family story was that Mr. Cull went back to Scotland to get the horses and the boat sank.
Lexie, her parents, brothers.. quite a brood.. moved to Kansas very soon after where she then married Albert Hill. 1.75 daughters later (my grandmother wasn't born just yet), Mr Hill was gone. (that story is that he was put on a train headed west at gunpoint by the brothers-in-law).
I found Thomas Cull. He had gone home to his mother in Birmingham and never married again. No scotland, no horses and no divorce on either side of the pond to my knowledge. Mr. Hill ended up old, alone and eventually dead in California.
As my grandfather told me one day... "Mother Hill was the meanest woman" he'd ever met!

:-)

[mrs_tease]

I've got another Canadian you can add to that list to!
my great aunt 'broke out' of an institution, ran away to London and married a canadian, who had a wife and family back home.
He was Spencer Brock, I've just started the hunt for more information on this pair lol

[Ladkyis]

Divorce was very expensive and, until recently was difficult to obtain. In the 19th century divorce was granted through parliament so only the rich or aristocratic could have one.
People were expected to stay together because the woman was regarded as the property of the man. If he beat her or raped her or sometimes even murdered her the authorities were reluctant to press charges because she was his wife and he could just about do what he liked. That was why Galsworthy's novels were so shocking.
Usually if the man left his wife it was generally thought that she was the one at fault because she hadn't been able to "keep" her man.
Oh yes those were truely the good old days with real family values

[Jan1954]

My Gran divorced her first husband in 1928 (|blush| shock!) as he had legged it to Australia with another woman.

The chap turned up on her doorstep in the 1970s and was totally gobsmacked to see that she had not only married again, but had grandchildren! Tee, hee!

Gran gave him very short shrift!

[elyam]

I thought I was the only one. My husband's family all knew that his grandmother had left her husband and three children to run off with another man. They bought up 4 children. It was a bit of a bombshell when I discovered that he too had left his spouse and three children too. To top it all on getting their marriage cert. (they married in 1958) his status was bachelor.|blush|

[toots]

The surnames you a researching don't happen to be Beal, Lally or Galloway by any chance?

I've got similar on my tree.


Mike

Hi, Mike,
I have just read your reply regarding bigamy. I have a Galloway who is a bit of a mystery. :confused: Robert Galloway, born 1888 in Middlesborough. I know he married twice but cannot find a death for his first wife. I just wondered if there was a connection with your Galloways.
Best regards,
Toots

[apehangmom]

Okay set me strait... Q&A..
So was divorce a matter of money?, Did some couples feel that they didnt want to spend there cash on it...
Was it that divorce was more a family issue than a court issue?
Like no one felt it was their buisness to discuss who was bedding down who?
Was there a fine for living with some one? What was the moral norms. thanks chris .. I have studied this but I have this Little House on the Prarie mentality... lol thanks chris

[Geoffers]

So was divorce a matter of money?, Did some couples feel that they didnt want to spend there cash on it...

As with so many things, reasons for divorce or avoiding it varied. Divorce was difficult until the 19th century, requiring an Act to be passed - then it became easier, but was expensive. Circumstances under which a divorce can be ganed have eased over time.

Extent of divorce depended on cost, ability access to legal process, length ot time, character...................individual circumstances.

These TNA research guides provide some background information.
Pre 1858 divorce (http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/catalogue/RdLeaflet.asp?sLeafletID=260)
Post 1857 divorce (http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/catalogue/RdLeaflet.asp?sLeafletID=53)

[Davran]

Job Woolley married Ann Meek in 1846 and produced six children (the last born in 1862). Job died in the lunatic asylum in 1866 of "general paralysis 3 years". Meanwhile, Ann (described as a widow) married William Rhodes in 1865, presumably to help her take care of the family. Ann and William had moved out of the area by 1871

[beachbaby]

We've had several "lost" spouses in the family - great gran Lizzie Roche Riley brought a child with the surname "brennan" to her marriage to Ed Riley - we've never found her "marriage" to Ed nor do we know what happened to him. We believe he fled back to New Brunswick, and she is described as a widow in the Chelsea Mass directories after that. And her brother Edmund had a wife Catherine who just disappeared - no idea where, and a child that popped up from goodness knows where.

Closer to home - after my parents' deaths in Dec 2004 I went looking for their marriage certificate to add to my info. They'd been married 68 happy years so I expected no surprises. Imagine my amazement when I looked under my dad's info and found that he had been married and divorced at 19 (of course I had to go into the Suffolk Cty courthouse to look that one up!)
You just never know what you're going to come up with!
Teri

[MickyMutt]

For many years one of my relatives worked in a BDM registry office in Melbourne. Someone else in the family was keen to do some family research but another cousin who happened to be a Member of Parliament said no way should anyone do that. Turns out he was worried about his career if it got out that his Grandfather was married once in 1863 and again in 1886 (three years before his first wife died). The MP is now deceased and the current generations are pleased to have found this salacious fact to add to the family story. Still, we have not actually found a marriage certificate for the first marriage, just the entry on their childrens birth certificates which said they were married in a certain church in a certain year. Despite that we are still claiming the old guy was a bigamist. By the time of his second marriage he was 45 and the new bride was just 22.

[v.wells]

I have an aunt that divorced her husband in the 1930'-40's and I have not been able to find anything at TNA. But then I do not understand all the techno legal terms so am probably not making an informed search.:o

I would still like to find it if I can. I had to make up a year for my family tree so that the marriages would work.:D

[Geoffers]

I have an aunt that divorced her husband in the 1930'-40's and I have not been able to find anything at TNA.

The problem is connected with survival of records. Very nearly all divorce records 1858-1927 survive and are seachable on TNA's catalogue in the department code J77. From 1927-1937 about 1 in 5 files have been destroyed. After 1938, nearly all files have been destroyed.

The chances would seem to lean towards your Aunt's file being one of those that have been destroyed.

[v.wells]

Geoffers

I thought as much but I am going to have another look. Thanks

Yep, Gone with the Wind!

[Anne W]

I've followed this thread with interest. How blatant were people when they "married" spouse number two? Did they use their real names? Were many people actually prosecuted for bigamy in the 19th century?
I suppose it depended whether spouse number one raised a fuss or not. I also suppose it would be pretty easy to create a whole new identity for yourself back then.
I have a sneaking suspicion that something along these lines happened with our ever elusive Robert Reginald Richmond Rose ( see posts on just about every forum at BG!), who's marriage certificate says he was the Puser on HMS Pelican, but who's name is not on the Muster or Pay books according to TNA. I wonder now if this was his REAL name at all!
Anne W

[beachbaby]

We are so accustomed to thinking in terms of "computer accessibility" that we forget how easy it really was for someone to just disappear, or live two lives. Income tax in the US didn't come into play until the early 20th century, nor was a social security # an absolute must - my grandmothers didn't have one. I am still trying to locate disappearing relatives with the above names (hint hint) but with the lack of records in a lot of cases, they could move, take marriage sabbaticals, change names with impunity and still have no problem finding housing, jobs, new spouses!

Just an aside, talking about people remarrying, my father's uncle remarried after his first wife died (13 chidren) to his 22 year old niece (another 10 kids, the last one of which recently died). The old goat was in his 60's. Boy talk about the Italian flying fast and furious! I guess the family back in Naples disowned her for it. Just the thought makes my cringe.

Teri (beachbaby)

[zadok45]

I've followed this thread with interest. How blatant were people when they "married" spouse number two? Did they use their real names? Were many people actually prosecuted for bigamy in the 19th century?
I suppose it depended whether spouse number one raised a fuss or not. I also suppose it would be pretty easy to create a whole new identity for yourself back then. Anne W

It also depended on whether Spouse 1 decided to "re-marry", on his/her own account. I discovered that James Skelton (my g-g-grandfather) not only left his wife with 3 children, but later on, re-married at least twice, if not 3 times!!

The third marriage may not be the same James Skelton, but the other 2 definitely were.

[KittyD]

I've followed this thread with interest. How blatant were people when they "married" spouse number two? Did they use their real names? Were many people actually prosecuted for bigamy in the 19th century?
I suppose it depended whether spouse number one raised a fuss or not. I also suppose it would be pretty easy to create a whole new identity for yourself back then.
I have a sneaking suspicion that something along these lines happened with our ever elusive Robert Reginald Richmond Rose ( see posts on just about every forum at BG!), who's marriage certificate says he was the Puser on HMS Pelican, but who's name is not on the Muster or Pay books according to TNA. I wonder now if this was his REAL name at all!
Anne W

I've got two instances of this in my tree, my Great Great Grandmother had three kids by three different fathers, and married the third dad - but left him and married the father of her second child bigamously, all she did was to get re-married in the next town along. Her second husband was also bigamously married to her, having been married to and had a child with another woman. Both of the other spouses were still alive at the times of the re-marriages, and as I say all my Great Great Grandparents did was go to the next town an get married there, they gave the same names s on their first certificates and said they were single, too...

[beachbaby]

I've got two instances of this in my tree, my Great Great Grandmother had three kids by three different fathers, and married the third dad - but left him and married the father of her second child bigamously, all she did was to get re-married in the next town along. Her second husband was also bigamously married to her, having been married to and had a child with another woman. Both of the other spouses were still alive at the times of the re-marriages, and as I say all my Great Great Grandparents did was go to the next town an get married there, they gave the same names s on their first certificates and said they were single, too...

:D Makes you tired just to think about it! It's tough keeping it straight when it's written out in front of you - had DID they manage? |laugh1|

[topo60]

Guess I opened a real 'can of worms' when I first posted my message over a year ago...!!!

[Dorothy Townend]

Afternoon everyone
I'm a newbie and this is my first go at posting anything, so wish me luck.

Your note was intriguing as this seems to have happened in my family too. My maternal grandfather was one Charles Nicholas Buller from a Kentish family (Hawkhurst) who was living in London with his wife and two daughters. He 'married' (hearsay only) my grandmother, Frances Isabella Thomas from Honiton, Devon. He had two (hearsay) daughters by her, to whom he gave the same names as his other two daughters. He was a Captain in the Salvation Army but died in the Belgian Congo in 1919, allegedly a remittance man (family legend). My grandmother died in Cape Town when I was a child.
I just thought that he must have been a black sheep, hence his being shunted off to Africa to stay out of sight, but you may well be right, and this might have been an alternative to divorce - not necessarily a poor man's, since his family seem to have been well enough off. Perhaps he just didn't dare get a divorce!
Looking forward to reading more from you.

[ash33au]

Not quite bigamy but...

gg grandfather had 6 kids with wife number 1 (who died) and 9 with wife number 2 who he married less than a year after wife number 1's death. Both spouses had the surname of Smith and he outlived them both.

great grandfather remarried a much younger woman (a friend of his youngest daughter) less than a year after his wife's death, fathering three children in his late 50s/early 60s.

grandfather moved in with a family friend (mother of my dad's best friend) after both had been widowed.

dad and mum had me then divorced then got back together briefly, concieved my sister then seperated for good before she was born. dad had a daughter out of wedlock a couple of years later then remarried twice more for no more kids. mum in the meantime had another daughter in her second marriage and then remarried a further two times for no more kids.

I never married but have a son from a long term relationship that never worked out. Then had a child die at birth in january this year with my current partner. We are getting married in November and plan on having more children together.

[kat44]

Mine's not quite bigamy either but similar to your story ash33au.

My OH's g grandfather married his first wife in 1923, she died about Mar 1927 and he remarried in Dec 1927. Swift mover!

[KittyD]

:D Makes you tired just to think about it! It's tough keeping it straight when it's written out in front of you - had DID they manage? |laugh1|

I know - and they said the Victorians were prudes didn't they;)

[raineshoe]

I would have thought this was a popular way of starting afresh for the "lower classes", which is why I find it strange that Henry Cootes divorced his wife Sarah in 1887/1888. He was a mere iron smelter, maybe not the bottom of the stack, but from what the divorce cost not something an iron smelter could afford. I have someone who is going to look for local papers at the time to see if there was something behind this. It may all be genuine, but I just find it hard to believe they went to all the trouble just to stay above board and within the law when there were easier and cheaper options available.

Have to wait and see I guess. ;)

[Aislin]

I've been following this thread with fascination. I'm now wondering if my mysterious Charles ROWE who was MIA for so many years was also involved in a "poor man's divorce". It would explain a great many things.

[mfwebb]

This could be in my tree.

My 2 x great grandmother, Ann Betts, married John Webb in October 1843 and their son Charles Webb was born in December 1843 in Houghton Conquest, Bedfordshire. Ann remarried in February 1846 to Thomas Goodman in Hillmorton, Warwickshire. On that marriage certificate she was described as Catherine Webb (widow) -- obviously changed her first name for some reason. I cannot locate a death certificate for John Webb. I have bought the 3 obvious ones but they are not him.

I know that Ann/Catherine and baby Charles moved to Hillmorton to be near her sister Hannah Cleaver nee Betts who, in the 1841 census, was living next door to Thomas Goodman and his parents and siblings. A case of Ann/Catherine marrying "the boy next door".

Maybe Ann/Catherine described herself as a widow to explain a 2 year old child and married bigamously.

I would love to know what happened to 2xggf John Webb. Did he leave the family and just "disappear" -- if he moved 2 villages away and called himself "Tom Smith" for the rest of his life no-one would ever know in those days.

[Fflur]

I have now come to the conclusion that my Grandmother had a Poor Mans Divorce - Bigamy! After searching for over 12 years for my grandfather - he walked out of the church after the marriage ceremony and never stopped! My grandmother remarried as a widow 6 years later (I can't find grandfathers death anywhere). Now comes the interesting bit. Her parents also had second marriages - without divorcing - each claiming the other as deceased but both living to a 'ripe old age'. All these 'marriages' occured between 1910 - 1930. Was 'Poor Mans Divorce' common or just perculiar to my family?

This happened with my g granparents. Couldn't find g g'father after 1901. With help from B-G friends, discovered he had emigrated in 1909.
I gather it was fairly common.
Good luck

[Jade26]

Lack of a legal marriage ceremony back in those days seems to have been a lot more common than we would have supposed. I have one great grandfather Francis Stevens who according to the birth certificates of both his daughters, married my great grandmother Sarah Ann Stackhouse (nee Perks) in Richmond Victoria Australia, on 27th April 1886. However no such marriage certificate seems to exist.Sarah was definitely a widow at the time as she lost both her husband and a ten month old son in 1885. In 1894, the family moved to the Western Australian Goldfields and shortly after this Francis Stevens disappeared. In the 1920's one of his daughters saw his name as the licensee of the Albion Hotel in Cottesloe Perth. She went in and confirmed that it was her father, but he wanted nothing to do with his previous family and disappeared again a month or so later.Electoral rolls on A****try revealed him a year later as the licensee of another hotel in southern W.A. Skimming a little further down the page I came across the name Ruby Edith Hilton Stevens at the same address, and through the electoral rolls traced her back to the Albion Hotel as well.* Apparently they had married in Perth* in 1911.I am still trying to follow this one up to see if great grandpa Stevens was simply a cad who took advantage of a grieving widow, or whether he was actually a bigamist.

[Jade26]

Don't know what happened to my previous post, or whether I just did something silly but it posted before I'd finished. What I was going to add was -

Somewhere I remember reading a long time ago, that if a couple were separated by a body of water for a certain number of years, both parties were free to marry again. Anyone ever heard of this as it could apply to a few presumed bigamous marriages.

Trish

[Procat]

Hi Trish,

Take a gander at this thread (http://www.british-genealogy.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4398&highlight=years).

[Jade26]

Thanks Procat that was very informative. It would certainly account for many of the bigamous marriages which took place when transportation of convicts was in force.

Trish

[kermie62]

When you look at the convict records, it was quite common for someone to have on the ships indents that they were married but that then when they arrived they were widowed. Given the lack of telegraph or radio, they must have relied on telepathy. It was quite common in the colonies when there wasnt a chance of return to the homeland for there to be simply an acceptance of bigimist marriages.

Here are some colony records

http://www.law.mq.edu.au/scnsw/cases1840-41/cases1841/R%20v%20Lindsay,%201841.htm

[kumben]

My granny was married in 1911 aged 22 and then married again in 1923 to Mr Sharp, however, she had a daughter Sheila (mom) b 1918. Looks fine, but in 1950 my mom found out that she had been adopted by Sharp and he wasn't her dad.
Well, I only found out this year, looking through the divorce cases at National Archives (J77) and there are THOUSANDS, that there was a Mr Hook (who was married) who had had an affair with my granny and oops, my mom was conceived. The poor husband of 1911 had been away in France fighting for King and Country, so it was impossible that Sheila was his!
How much it must have cost, I would love to know.

[topo60]

Since posting my original message 2 years ago I've discovered yet more bigamy. This time an extremely religious man deserted his Welsh wife and large family, skipped across 'the pond' to America to marry again and raise another much larger family - still practicing his religious beliefs....!! What kind of a family do I come from??????

[JenniLl]

My Great Grandfather left his wife and two adult sons to go off and set up home with his wife's younger sister. He changed his surname and had three more sons (who were more contemporary in age to my Father.)

Over the past couple of years I have made contact with GGs other grandaughter. She and her sister always came to a brick wall when researching the family because of the false information they had been given. They were pleased to have solved the mystery and find their roots.

Jenni
:)

[sue1959]

I have a G Aunt Olive who emigrated to US in 1916. She married a Percy Harrison in 1912and re married in the US in 1918. I origionally though he was Killed in the war but have found out that he wasn't called up being partially deaf. He remarried but died in 1918. Did they divorce or did she leave him and go to the US, who knows But from a cousin who knew her she was a bitter woman! Mysterious.

[ashbee]

It would only be bigamy if a second or additional marriage was conducted while the original partner was known to be alive, wouldn't it? With so many examples of people simply living together and adopting the partner's name and having children, I wonder how many people actually committed bigamy and why? And I've often wondered what happened when (and I think someone mentioned it on the forum) someone remarried thinking themselves genuinely widowed only to find the first partner was alive at a later date...is the second marriage invalid automatically?

I used to think that our modern practices would shock the old folks but research has shown that they made the rules in the first place!!!

[rivergirl]

I have 2 bigamous marriages in my famly circa 1860/70s

In one family the couple married in Kent, the wife later took their daughter and returned to Essex and remarried as a widow.
The husband was a oysterman/mariner, so she may have said to her family/friends that he drowned.
The husband stayed in Kent, with his family and later married his cousin and had more children.
They all lived into the 1910s.

In another case, the married man was in Australia trying to make money in the goldrush, while his wife and son were at home in England.
He married again in Australia in the 1870s and had 4 children.
Not that long after his first wife back in England died, his 2nd wife left him and the children.
We suspect wife 2 found out via a letter from the son in England, that wife 1 had died, and her marriage was bigamous.
The 2nd wife then went on to remarry, saying she was a widow, while her "husband" was still alive.

We also have a gt gt granny who married and had a child, then went off with another man and had another 4 children. Next she is back with her husband and had another child. After hubby died a few years later she married the other man and had another 2 children.

[DONNAMCKENZIE]

Just found out that my grandfather had a bigamist marriage to my grandmother. They met 1929, but didn't get together until 1932 when they lived as man and wife and she took his name. Their first child was born 1932 and more followed until 1940 when they finally married. Grandad puts down on marriage cert that he is a widow, which was not true. Found last week he did have a previous marriage and she was very much alive and living in Kenton. He even told gran that his first wife had gone mad and died.
They were a right pair. Grans first relationship resulted in 5 kids and she didn't marry him just took his name as he was already married.