Writing your life story

[Ed McKie]

Ok, so you are all writing up your own life story, arnt you ? You know you should, so that your grandchildren will know all about you, and it has been such a pain that your granddad didnt do it, or even leave a diary :-)

So how are you doing it ? I dont mean the finished effort, just your method of collating the raw material as it were. Are you like Alice, starting at the beginning etc. or are you dealing with different subjects, my school, where we lived, jobs, etc, how we lived at home etc.

Would be interested in the various approaches to this.

Cheers..Ed

[Ed McKie]

On a slightly different tack to the previous thread, how much detail does one include ? Warts and all ? Things you have done and perhaps wished you hadnt ? Just a bowdlerised version or what really happened behind the bike shed ? Do you really want your grandchildren to know all this, or are you gong to let them make their own assumptions in the way that you have had to for your own grandparents ? Did that first child really have such a short gestation period after the marriage for instance, you know what I mean ?

A lot of suggestions from american places give emphasis on how you felt about, your Mum, your Dad, your sisters etc . Never had a lot of success with this aspect myself, after all we are British aint we, we dont go in for that sort of thing.............

Cheers..Ed

[JayD]

A very good question.

I say tell your highlights in life along with your regrets. It is said that one should learn from their mistakes, but I believe you should also learn from the mistakes of others. If that means I have to admit something I am ashamed of, so my children/grandchildren won’t make the same type of mistake than so be it.

We all want our children to do more and have better lives than we did. How can we expect that if we are not willing to tell them where we messed up.



That is just my opinion.

[ElaineMaul]

My mother-in-law, who is 82, is currently writing up her life story. She initially started writing it on paper, but we got her a laptop (my old one!) so she can do it on the PC.

We told her that, if she wants, we don't want to see it until after she's gone ...... which means she can write what she wants ...... although we do lose the opportunity to ask her questions!

Out of interest, if anyone else is doing this, do you have a list of bullet point topics as memory joggers for how best to structure it so nothing is forgotten? I know when my father-in-law was alive and I was quizzing them both on my husband's side of the family tree, they could tell me loads ...... but extra questions from me could jog their memories about all sorts of things. My mum-in-laws recollections of working class life in Tottenham in the 1920s-1930s are quite fascinating ...... as are her recollections of war-work during WWII.

I want to try and get my own Mum to do the same ....... she's 10 years younger so remembers WWII from the point of view of a child. A structured list of suggested things to cover would be really helpful.

Elaine

[Christine]

I'd like to have your list of bullet points please. My Mum is 93 she started me off on this family history research because she knew so much about both sides of the family. She's confirmed and added to many things I've researched. Sometimes I think I've found something to surprise her and she says she already knew that! Your list of points may help me lead her in the right direction so she can lead me.

Christine

[Geoffers]

Ok, so you are all writing up your own life story, arnt you ? So how are you doing it ? I dont mean the finished effort, just your method of collating the raw material as it were.

I sketch, very rarely does a day go by when I don't doodle something. My two lads are going to inherit a mountain a sketchbooks, some very neat and ordered with final drawings, some a haphazard amalgam, with scribbled notes on light, weather, what I was doing. Just out of sheer devilment, some have odd little extras which are out of place and weren't in the original subject, but which have a reason for being there. They're going to have to work out what they mean. Butas a whole, these will say more about me than a narrative account.

Geoffers

[ElaineMaul]

Hi Christine,

I think you've mis-read my post (or I wasn't very clear) ...... I was also asking for a list of bullet-point guidelines so things don't get missed!

When my mum-in-law first talked about doing it, the obvious things were:

• early childhood memories,
• school days
• employment
• entertainment/pastimes (she used to be a very good swimmer and athlete)
• her experiences during the war
• courting/marriage
• becoming a parent

But there's lots of other possible things like:

• what were the shops like?
• the houses of the time; furnishings, everyday home life, meals etc
• remembrances of her parents/family
• her impressions of important historical events; the Depression, the Queens' coronation (sure there must be others?)
• games she used to play as a child
• how did they celebrate Christmas, Easter
• any traditions around weddings, new babies, death

And I'm sure others could add to this.......??
Perhaps we could start a list of our own?

Elaine

[Geoffers]

Out of interest, if anyone else is doing this, do you have a list of bullet point topics as memory joggers for how best to structure it so nothing is forgotten?

Bullet points no, but an interview technique I was taught many years ago is not to just go forwards in time, but everynow and then work backwards over the same ground. It can be useful if you get to a point where the memory of an incident is failing.

So, you might be going through, for example - evacuation in WW2 and trying to get a description of the house. Use a point such as first arrival and ask about the bedroom where they slept; then ask how they got to the bedroom, if it was upstairs, where the stairs were in relation to the landing; going down the stairs, what was on the walls, was it light/dark. At the foot of the stairs what can they remember, was it an entrance hall, what ran off it? How did they get into the house and where was the house in relation to the road. Working forwards and then backwards, often brings out "Oh and I remember there was....." The technique can be adapted for any incident.

Geoffers

[Davran]

I don't think you can generally give a blow-by-blow account of your life from day one. There are going to be highlights that you remember - times of joy and excitement, and darker times.

Personally, I have written an account of 8 years of early childhood spent in South Africa. This was more for my own benefit than for my children's as I had a lot of memories 'locked away' there and it was quite a cathartic experience to bring them out of the past into the present. Family members (in particular my sister who was born after the family returned to England) have asked me to continue the story from then on, but so far I haven't felt inspired to do so. (I think family history has taken over my life instead!)

The South Africa memories were enhanced by linking up with a complete stranger who had been to the same primary school in Johannesburg as I - we shared similar feeling and experiences in being uprooted from one country to another at the age of 10. Possibly this is a good route to follow in bringing back times past, by talking to people who shared the same experiences - it's amazing how one remark can trigger a long-buried memory.

The effort is in compiling the results into a coherent, readable format which will make sense to those who don't share the memories! I was lucky enough to spend a week in France with my paperwork and few distractions.

[Christine]

Hi Christine,

I think you've mis-read my post (or I wasn't very clear) ...... I was also asking for a list of bullet-point guidelines so things don't get missed!

Elaine

Hi Elaine,

Yes, sorry, you were clear but I mis-read your mail. Thanks for the ideas, using them together with the interview technique I may get some previously missed information.

Usually I try to concentrate on one person, eg: Aunt Maisie, and work outwards from her. Not only do you get a picture of Aunt Maisie but you may find that when she was 14 she stayed with Grandma because Grandma had broken her wrist and Aunt Jane couldn't come because she was having a baby, etc, etc.

Christine