But you don't sound Australian...

[JohnN]

Had another one of those phone calls a few minutes ago.

A man's voice, addressed me by name (which I didn't admit to) explaining that he was phoning from blah blah Communications blah blah blah Computer blah blah Technical Support Division. I told him that I was having trouble understanding his accent and would he repeat all that again but more slowly and clearly... I still couldn't understand him after two more tries (honestly!) and told him he was wasting his time: his accent was so bad I simply couldn't make out what he was saying. He asked me to wait.

So I waited.

Then a woman came on the line, same accent (possibly Indian or Sri Lankan) and same message. After she had repeated it several times I asked her if she was trying to sell me a computer. "No!" she cried, "I am not trying to sell you anything. The reason that I am phoning is that a lot of our customers have been having problems with blah blah blah getting into their computers in the last few days..."

I interrupted and asked her where she was calling from. Whereupon she reeled off the original blah blah blah Technical Support thing again. "No - I mean which country are you calling from?" "I am calling from South Melbourne." "Funny, I said, You don't sound Australian!" "I am not a native of Australia, but I am resident in Australia!"

And then she went through her spiel again - twice.

"No", I said, "you still don't sound Australian..."

Then she started shouting, so I did my best to calm her down, explaining that I was doing my best, but that her accent was so poor that I had trouble understanding her - true enough!

She did her best to be reasonable, went through the whole thing again and in the end I realised it was getting on for tea-time, so I said "I think I understand now, you're having some sort of trouble with your computer, are you?"

"No", she nearly sobbed "I am phoning about YOUR computer!"

"But that can't be right" I said, "I haven't got a computer..."

"In that case I must have the wrong information" she said, and rang off.
She didn't even say "Have a nice day."

I felt quite hurt.

John
.._

[Ladkyis]

That's very naughty - but an excellent tale. Wonderful!

[Quentin]

Hi John - this scam has been happening for quite some time in Australia - elderly people especially are taken in by this attempt to gain access to their computer. In a nutshell, the caller states that they are trying to help as they have knowledge of a problem with the person's computer, they suggest opening the computer and putting in password etc, then they will fix the problem!!!!!!!!!!! They usually know the name of the person and even their address, this of course convinces the person that the caller is legitimate. I have been targetted several times and the caller gets very annoyed when told "but I don't own a computer" which is really the only answer. There have been many warnings on tv etc about this scam which would appear to originate in a call centre 'overseas' - definitely very heavily accented callers. We have a 'Do Not Call" register here in Oz and there are huge penalty fines for other than personal calls, charity calls or policital calls. When I say to an unwelcome caller "please give your number as we are on the "Do Not Call Register" they are gone in an instant. It is important for everyone to realise that 'technical support' calls are just a scam - they have even purported to be calling from "Micr-s-ft". So be vigilant - forewarned is forearmed. Cheers.
Quentin

[susan-y]

That's very naughty - but an excellent tale. Wonderful!

I second that! Best chuckle of the day!

The "poor" lady....

John.....

Sue

[David Tuson]

I second that! Best chuckle of the day!

The "poor" lady....

John.....

Sue

Oh John, you are awful - but I like you!! (Chocolate fish if you can name the person who made that phrase famous)

[deeree]

We also get lots of these calls and in the early days I strung them along too. I pretended that my computer was upstairs and the phone was downstairs and I had to keep leaving the phone for long periods so that I could run between the two. The caller suggested all sorts of ways to make their call more efficient, did I have a handsfree or mobile? was there someone else in the house who had a mobile that they could ring etc. I had a lot of fun frustrating them, but eventually I found the calls very irritating and now just hangup as soon as I get a call where the caller doesn't speak for a couple of seconds after I answer the phone. I assume the have an automatic dialling setup and they have to respond when the phone is answered.
This method has some drawbacks though. After 3 calls in a row, my sister rang my mobile and said, "Why do you keep hanging up on me?"

Dick Emery

[spison]

Very very naughty John but I have to agree with deeree. I know here in Oz we have a 'do not call' register but so many groups were exempt that I decided against it. I just tell them "I know it's a scam so let's not waste each others time" and have done with it.
Jane