Out of the mouths (or pencils) of children

[Jellylegs]

Received these recently - original was in the childrens' own handwriting:-

HISTORY
In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer to live in the Country.

MATHS
The total is when you add up all the numbers and the remainder is an animal that pulls santa on his sleigh.

HISTORY
Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as ostriges until the war is over. Some prisners end up in consterpation camps.

RELIGIOUS STUDIES
A mosque is a sort of church. The main difference is that its roof is doomed.

RELIGIOUS STUDIES
I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool, I don't know any old men apart from grandpa.

MATHS
I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.

GEOGRAPHY
The closest town to France is Dover. You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.

MATHS
If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel.

THE ARTS
... and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager.

THE ARTS
In last year's christmas concert, Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.

SCIENCE
Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover.

HISTORY
Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak.

NATURAL HISTORY
Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians.

GEOGRAPHY
In geography we learned that countries with sea round them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents.

RELIGIOUS STUDIES
If you marry to people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this.

GEOGRAPHY
In Scandinavia, the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.

HISTORY
Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.

[Liane Hawes]

that's made my day

[Nicolina]

the penultimate will give me nightmares. When I lived in Sweden I had a Laplander for a neighbour. UGH!!!!! (He was a nice bloke though)

[junedye64]

I do love the funny things children say in all seriousness.

I remember my own daughter coming out with some hilarious things when she was small.

It's given me a good laugh.

June

[Jan1954]

I do love the funny things children say in all seriousness.

Absolutely!

When I was a teacher of 8-year-olds, a conversation went like this:
"'Ere! Miss!"
"Yes...."
"You know them people back then 'ad tall wigs?"
"Yes...."
"An' they also lived in them 'ouses wiv 'igh ceilings?"
"Yes - they were Georgians."
"Well, miss, did they wear them 'igh wigs so that they didn't feel so short?"

[Colin Rowledge]

Absolutely!

When I was a teacher of 8-year-olds, a conversation went like this:
"'Ere! Miss!"
"Yes...."
"You know them people back then 'ad tall wigs?"
"Yes...."
"An' they also lived in them 'ouses wiv 'igh ceilings?"
"Yes - they were Georgians."
"Well, miss, did they wear them 'igh wigs so that they didn't feel so short?"

That's one for the books, Jan.

Kind of reminds me of an auction I went to, many, many years ago at a rural farm. There was an old rusty, long-handled scythe in the barn. The grand-daughter of the deceased [she was aged about 9] told me I should buy it and if I did, she'd tell me its history.

I was successful and paid $2.50 for it. Later she came up to me and said - "Mister, I said if you bought it, I'd tell you its history". "Yes" I said "you did. So what's the history"? Her answer was - "It was my granddaddy's and now it's yours - so I guess - IT IS HISTORY"

For several years in the 1990's I sold antiques at a "Flea Market". Took that old scythe with me but never ever sold it.

But using that phrase of hers got me many sales at prices higher than expected.

Colin

[susan-y]

I Took that old scythe with me but never ever sold it.
Colin

So, does that mean you still have it?

Sue

[Colin Rowledge]

So, does that mean you still have it?

Sue

Hi Sue.
No - I wish I did for my next garage sale, but last year, someone came when I was setting up [at 6.00am] and offered me $75.00 for it.

2 months later, while at a Flea Market in Aberfoyle, the same person had it on sale "as is" for $200.00.

Win some - lose som, eh?