I'm gobsmacked and don't know what to do!

[Lizzy9]

I know this topic has been aired many times before, but I think in this case it's a tad different and I don't know what to do.

Searching Ancestry's online trees database I found a tree with my deceased father and his ancestral line back to his 3 x great grandfather born 1803. My dad's 3 x great grandfather has been 'given' the wrong parents' this couple are the ancestors of the tree owner. The tree owner has no certificates or parish register entries to back up his/her information. A number of years ago a lady contacted me via GR asking permission to view my tree; I obliged. Since then, a few trees have surfaced with my father's ancestral line being attached to the wrong 3 x ggdad, but none have attached my father to the descendency line. The surname in question, though not Smith, or Brown is a common surname and therefore very necessary to research thoroughly; which I have done via BMD cert's, visiting archives, wills and PR's. I have in the past contacted another tree owner who had my father's ancestry wrongly attached to their tree, and after proving my line isn't related to theirs they very kindly removed the line, and explained they had accepted the information from a GR member 'in good faith'.

If it wasn't for the fact my own father was attached to the wrong folks, I wouldn't mind, but I feel uncomfortable knowing my dear father is attached to the wrong ancestors. In fact I feel upset and angry. Not only has my father's direct line been attached but also his branches and inlaws.

Last week I made contact via Ancestry with the tree owner, and their reply more or less said they believed the relationship to be fact. I don't know how to approach this now. It's obvious, owing to no researched evidence that all the info has been copied from the lady from GR. I spent years tracing some of these ancestors who migrated to Australia and America, and most of the information is not available on the web.

I apologise if this thread is perceived as covering old ground, but I am feeling distressed and would appreciate some ideas as to how I can approach stubbornness.

Thanks

Lizzy

[v.wells]

Lizzy, as you know there is a lot of this on Ancestry. You have contacted the owner and they do not want to know. You can insist they show proof of their claim. In their mindset they will ignore you, So post a comment in the comment section on the name you dislike being on there, namely your father. I would also post a comment on the Ancestry blog page. I've never used that but In the long and short of it You KNOW you are RIGHT and that is all that matters. I don't open my trees to anyone on A* or GR ever. Exchanging information only is the best policy and getting the certs to back up the direct ancestors.

I know this doesn't make you feel any better, just know that you are not alone. It has happened to many of us.

[Lizzy9]

Lizzy, as you know there is a lot of this on Ancestry. You have contacted the owner and they do not want to know. You can insist they show proof of their claim. In their mindset they will ignore you, So post a comment in the comment section on the name you dislike being on there, namely your father. I would also post a comment on the Ancestry blog page. I've never used that but In the long and short of it You KNOW you are RIGHT and that is all that matters. I don't open my trees to anyone on A* or GR ever. Exchanging information only is the best policy and getting the certs to back up the direct ancestors.

I know this doesn't make you feel any better, just know that you are not alone. It has happened to many of us.

Hi Vanessa,

Thank you for reading my thread and taking the time to reply; it means a lot. I admit I am feeling down about the whole thing at the moment, and maybe after I've slept on it, it won't seem half as upsetting. I have come across trees before with my ancestors wrongly attached to people, but I was shocked to see my own father with the wrong ancestors. Normally, trees with wrong info don't bother me; this is too close to home.

Your suggestion to leave a comment on my fathers name is a good one, and tomorrow that's what I shall do. I don't trust myself to do it right now.

Thanks again, Vanessa. I appreciate your advice.

Lizzy

[Lizzy9]

You could try again with a slightly different tack. Reiterate that this is your father and you have painstakingly researched his ancestry so there is no doubt that he does not belong attached to their family and you would consider it a great personal favour if they were to kindly remove it.
Best wishes

Hi Graham,

Thanks for your kind words and measured advice. I think it a good idea to approach the tree owner with courtesy, that just may embarrass them into obliging. I shall do that tomorrow.

My tree on Ancestry is private, and since my experience of opening my tree years ago to the lady on GR, I now first establish there's a definite connection before passing my info on. I am more then happy to share all I have with genuine researchers of my family lines.

Thanks again, Graham, your advice is appreciated.

Lizzy

[v.wells]

Lizzy, I had my own father and his sisters attached to someone's tree. When I contacted the owner, he said he'd researched it thoroughly and he was right. Well I set him straight that it was not possible as I was my father's daughter and I had all the bmd's to back up all and everything. He then said he was mistaken and corrected it. I also told him I would contact Ancestry if he didn't correct it.

So you're not alone in the dastardly behaviour of others. Sleep on it and you will be better in the morning. But make sure you post a comment on his tree. Make sure it says " All of this information pertaining to this individual is uncorroborated and a complete fallacy!"

[lincon60]

Hi All and Lizzy

I have been researching my family for years and have had many contacts, some with no matches but have stayed in contact regardless and have made many friends around the world. But what worries me about these sites is that they are being used to gather information for scams of various sorts. I regularly get messages and mails asking for my personal details as a deceased relative of mine has left a sum of money to me. Others have said they like the look of my “profile” and would like to have photos so we can meet.

I had one message recently on Ancestry.co.uk from someone researching on behalf of a certain “Godwin” who thought he had no living relatives and asked if I was closely related and could I help with information. No surnames were given and I have no Godwin in my tree at all !!!

[Bertie]

My tree on Ancestry is private, and since my experience of opening my tree years ago to the lady on GR, I now first establish there's a definite connection before passing my info on. I am more then happy to share all I have with genuine researchers of my family lines.

Lizzy

Hi Lizzy - I am sorry to hear about the problem you have experienced; it's really bad for people to do that; I've had experiences of "name collectors" who just want to suck in all the information I have so they can show they are connected to everybody (even Adam and Eve for all I know). But your situation is much worse, and I understand your distress. I hope the offenders take the morally right action.

In my trees (I have various mini-trees) I put in only enough to attract people who can trace their way back to the generation - for example parents (including second wife or husband) and their children. Just 2 generations, but enough to give people the chance to "lock" the results of their direct line researches into a broader set of siblings (including people they may not even know) and contact me. I use that as the basis for any subsequent (fair) exchange of information.

All the best

[cristol]

Hi Lizzy
My sympathies are with you.
As you say, many of us have come across this type of thing regularly and have aired our views of it on here. But it doesn’t mitigate the sense of unfairness felt when our ancestors are ascribed wrongly, by people who just don’t seem to care. We all make mistakes but once it is pointed out I am sure we are relieved that someone goes to the trouble to point it out. In this case, with it being your father involved it must be really infuriating. I know that whenever I notice my late mother on someone’s tree that I know she has no real connection with but is just one of the thousands of fifth cousins twenty times removed and is only added to make up the twenty thousandth entry on their Guinness record breaking attempt at a tree - that I feel disgruntled that she is just a name picked up by someone, from someone else who has found it from the tree of someone who once I had contact with when I was very green in the ways of GR. And in most cases there may well be such a very remote connection – but who would know – I certainly don’t and she’s my mother !
To have to see your father attached to the wrong family and have to endure someone telling you that they know him better than you must be particularly galling.
I hope the polite approach works but if not I would certainly take Vanessa and Graham’s advice to put some fairly strongly worded remarks in the comment facility.
Do let us know how you get on.

We need to keep on protecting our past family members just as fiercely as we do those that are still with us.

Lesley

p.s.
Re Bertie’s comment – one of the “world record attempt” people actually does claim that he has an unbroken connection back to the beginnings of the human race and what is more he sent me proof that I do too !! I don’t know why I bother with all the hard work with this genealogy quest when someone has done it all for me !!

[Ladkyis]

It's one of the reasons I don't have my tree on this here intarwebby. Not because I don't want to share but because I just don't need the hassle that comes when people don't do their own research and prove things themselves. I will happily spend a lot of time preparing and sending information when asked for it but I never go look at what they do with it because if they had something wrong I would just get mad.
My only advice is to let it go, you cannot force them to change their tree the same way they cannot force you to change yours. Treat them with the contempt they deserve for getting it wrong and move on. Life is much to short to spend time upsetting your self over something that makes no difference. It doesn't diminish your father or your relationship with him. It doesn't diminish your ancestors in any way. It makes the owner of the incorrect tree look a bit of a prat but apart from that there is nothing to beat yourself up over.
You pointed it out, they ignored your advice, definitely their loss. Now make a nice cuppa, sit back in your chair and shout rude names at the computer screen - that always makes me feel much better.

[Lizzy9]

I hope the offenders take the morally right action.
All the best

Me too, Bertie. Thanks so much for your best wishes. Lizzy

So you're not alone in the dastardly behaviour of others. Sleep on it and you will be better in the morning. But make sure you post a comment on his tree. Make sure it says " All of this information pertaining to this individual is uncorroborated and a complete fallacy!"

Hi Vanessa, sorry to hear you have experienced the same upset as me. I did feel a little better about it this morning, and it helps to know I'm not the only one this happened to. Thanks, Lizzy

I had one message recently on Ancestry.co.uk from someone researching on behalf of a certain “Godwin” who thought he had no living relatives and asked if I was closely related and could I help with information. No surnames were given and I have no Godwin in my tree at all !!!

How strange! lincon. I've not experienced anything like that. We all have to be on our guard. Lizzy

Hi Lizzy
We need to keep on protecting our past family members just as fiercely as we do those that are still with us.
Lesley

Exactly, Lesley. I don't think my father would be happy knowing he's been bunched with the wrong folks.

Thank you, Lizzy

My only advice is to let it go, you cannot force them to change their tree the same way they cannot force you to change yours. Treat them with the contempt they deserve for getting it wrong and move on.
It doesn't diminish your father or your relationship with him. It doesn't diminish your ancestors in any way. It makes the owner of the incorrect tree look a bit of a prat but apart from that there is nothing to beat yourself up over.
You pointed it out, they ignored your advice, definitely their loss. Now make a nice cuppa, sit back in your chair and shout rude names at the computer screen - that always makes me feel much better.

Hi Ladkyis,

Thanks for your advice. You are quite right, I cannot force them to change their tree (wish I flippin' could, though).

I did make a cuppa, and I did shout choice words at my computer screen, and yes, I do feel better but, tonight I intend emailing the tree owner once more and as Graham suggested I shall use very courteous words and hope to grind them into submission; will it work? Probably not, but I will feel satisfied I've tried my best for my dear departed Dad.

Thanks to you all for taking the time to reply to my thread, your comments and suggestions have helped enormously.

Kind regards.

Lizzy