Victorian Mourning Customs

[timelord]

consider me morbid, but i find these rituals fascinating. the colours of clothing worn over the 2 and a half year mourning period. ( wife losing husband) is just one example, also the mourning jewellery etc.

[ChristineR]

I remember seeing a newspaper article which listed some recovered stolen property - there was a description of a mourning brooch or locket. It had the names of two people engraved upon it, a man and a woman, and contained locks of hair. It must have been made in separate pieces at the times of death and then joined as both parts of the item were made of different materials. The surname of the people was PARISH, the place was Melbourne, Australia. From the date, it was probably unlikely that the persons named had been in Australia, just the keeper of the jewellery.

ChristineR
Australia

[Guy Etchells]

consider me morbid, but i find these rituals fascinating. the colours of clothing worn over the 2 and a half year mourning period. ( wife losing husband) is just one example, also the mourning jewellery etc.

Not Victorian but I have a book -A Book of Edwardian Etiquette - originally published in 1902 but my version republished 1983 ISBN 0-04-942181-6

Amongst the 23 chapters of social etiquette in various situations is one (chapter XX) Mourning. Here the subjrcts range from gathering at the house prior to the funeral through to calls of condolence a day or two after the funeral.
The last page of the chapter covers The Wearing of Black.
example
"Widows wear mourning for two years, at least that is the regulation time ; but many widows wear it for three, or even longer. Crape is not often used now, except as a trimming, and it is left off after the first year. The cap and the veil are worn for a year and a day, lawn collars and cuffs for a year.
For a year, too, widows should not give or accept invitations nor go into society.

Cheers
Guy

[Ladkyis]

"For a year, too, widows should not give or accept invitations nor go into society."

this had a very sound reason behind it. If the wife gave birth to a child within that time it would be regarded as the posthumous child of the deceased husband so she was effectively put away from everyone except close family for a year just to ensure the inheritance. for the lower classes it was not considered important.

In Jewish families I believe that the oldest brother of the deceased husband was expected to assume responsibility for the woman and any children. If he was not married he was expected to take her as his wife - and if he was married I think the wife just had to put up with another woman in her house.
Ann

[florencebailey]

i have been searching for ages for a forum/chat board associated with victorian clothing & attire, it is a field we are in and would be great to talk to other enthusiasts..

[Ladkyis]

I am interested in costume - I make them

Ann

[timelord]

and bearing in mind, actual items made from the deceased hair

[BeeE586]

My grandmother was born in 1886, one of 15 children of whom only seven survived. Carefully folded and tucked away in tissue paper with a couple of lavender bags she treasured a pair of white, hand knitted silk stockings and a long, wide, silk ribbon. As a child I found these fascinating and she explained that when children were buried the small coffin was often carried by other, older children, the girls wearing a white dress, white silk stockings and a sash. These bearers would usually be members of the family, brothers, sisters or perhaps cousins and in the days of large families and infant mortality such sad events must have occurred often. It may just have been a local custom - she lived in Barrow Hill, part of the parish of Staveley in north east Derbyshire. My grandfather was a 'flat cap' man, but he kept a black bowler, a stiff collar and a black, silk, hand knitted tie for funerals. He died in 1946 but his son in law wore them to the funeral as a mark of respect. Strange how certain aspects of some customs survive.

Eileen

[Jo Simpsons]

This photo was taken early 1900. My Nan says her Grandmother is wearing "Widows Weeds"
Jo

Sorry can't get the photo any larger to be able get on

[Jo Simpsons]

If at first you don't succeed!

Jo