IF

[Sue Mackay]

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct her/him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,




...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

[Neil Wilson]

Nice one Sue.
I thought the answer would be 'because you were on B-G forum'

[Jan1954]

Nice one Sue.
I thought the answer would be 'because you were on B-G forum'

No way, Neil! The first one would knock me out of that

I have 2 paperweights at work, given to me by the staff. One says, "All the coffee in Columbia would never make me a morning person" and the other says "Give me coffee and no-one gets hurt".

Methinks they know me too well...

Sue - I loved this

[Sue Mackay]

Sue - I loved this

In case people think my recent contibutions to this particular forum indicate way too much time trawling the Internet for jokes, this is the situation. A week or so ago my husband gave our e-mail address to the secretary of a local club who was delivering most newsletters via e-mail but putting ours through the letterbox. Ever since then when we log on each morning we find about ten forwarded e-mails with jokes, funny photos and the occasional bits of stunning photography in Power Point. Thank God we don't have a download limit! We forgive him because for every eight we delete we find one that's a joy to look at and one that makes us howl with laughter.