View Full Version : How do I handle this situation?
25-01-2012, 8:05 PM
My grand uncle married and his spouse was an Ahlstedt. Many members here know the history of this family from previous threads of mine.
I have now been asked by 3 members of this family to produce a history for them. All well and good, --- but:
There were 2 bigamous marriages. One was known about and accepted The other resulted in a birth and future generations. This one resulted in charges and a conviction.
The child married and had 2 children. One of these decendants also married and has children who are still alive.
Should I mention this family in the document? I have not as yet been able to make contact with them and believe they have the right to veto anything that might cause them grief.
Suggestions please!!!! :sweatdrop:
25-01-2012, 8:25 PM
I have now been asked by 3 members of this family to produce a history for them. Okay.... are they after a factual account, warts and all, or are they after a sanitised version? Consider how they are related to the black sheep.
I have not as yet been able to make contact with themThat, you need to do and ask 'em. You need to find out from them who any findings would affect and how they would be likely to take it.
25-01-2012, 9:12 PM
I'm still in a quandary though.
I'm tempted to " give them all the poop" once I've heard from the other side.
They can then 'digest' it and 'sanitize' as they see fit.
Meanwhile, I will have the true history to hand on.
25-01-2012, 11:17 PM
I think you have to think very carefully about the consequences of your actions.
During our research we do find out a lot of information, we pay for and have access (and are helped) to sites that the average person has no idea even exist. That is why the adoption people have counselling, why the census are not released early, why certain information is hidden, why Brit Gen does not allow the details of living people to be published.
We, in this hobby accept what we find, warts and all, because we are actively looking for it.
Should you decide to divulge private and personal information that you have found or have been given, to those that have no idea it exists, then it is down to your conscience and only you can answer your question.
25-01-2012, 11:43 PM
A wise answer.
26-01-2012, 7:52 PM
Ooh Colin, a difficult one. I had a similar situation, well almost, certainly I found another "unknown" marriage & records of a "lively" lad but nothing too serious. In my ingnorance I passed on a few brief facts to a newly found cousin, and they were brief facts, I mentioned nothing of another wedding, only that there were records of a "altercation". Contact was stopped.
I have lost a cousin & my reason for researching my Family is to find living relatives, I am an only child of parents who were only children. My parents are now dead & apart from my children there is not one living relative, that I am aware of...
It is my greatest wish not to offend, but we would be so lucky not to find a "black sheep" in our research. Perhaps as someone suggested, you might first ask the question "what wart's and all"
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