A moan, but quite funny really!

[Davran]

This morning hubby left for a weekend pursuing one of his hobbies (I elected to stay at home). He also runs a ceilidh band, which advertises on a website which is the equivalent of a well-known directory.

At 12.00 today the phone rang and I answered (as is my wont) "Hello".

Man (young): Could I speak to the person responsible for the ****.com account?
Me (expecting it to be my friend and thinking of other things!): Oh, they've gone away for the weekend, so, no you can't.
Man: Where are they?
Me: What do you mean?
Man: Where have they gone?
Me: It's none of your business
Man: Well, are they living it up? Sunning themselves on the Med?
Me (taking a deep breath): Do you know who you're talking to?
Man: I'm talking to a woman who's really, really rude
Me: I think you're being rude
Man: I'm being really, really nice
Me: I'm going to terminate this conversation. Good-bye! (put phone down)

I can't remember the exact conversation, but that is the gist of it! He may well have been trying to be "friendly" in the way that telesales people try to be, but I think he needs a little more training in technique.

I was absolutely livid and thought about phoning to speak to a supervisor, but he really isn't worth the effort. He'll lose a lot of business and get the sack if he talks to customers like that.

[v.wells]

We have a security system with a certain company that the head office is unfortunately located in the US. When we signed the contract, we didn't know this and I called them and said that if they ever phoned us for any reason that their company name better show up on caller display since we do not answer foreign unknown callers.

A year has gone by and some weeks ago the phone rang and I inadvertantly picked up without seeing who it was. It was an unknown number and the person on the other end said he was from this company and he was just updating the file and wanted verification of our address. I told him it was none of his business as if he was a "true" representative he would already have that information and we hadn't moved - obviously! I also said I do not and never will give out personal information to anybody calling from an unknown number. I said that since our caller displayed his telephone number as unknown, then he must be unknown and not to ever call again or I would report it to the authorities.

Never heard from that number again!

[Jane Gee]

When a well known power company came to call at our house because my husband said he wasnt interested in changing over the salesperson became right sn**y and was very rude to my husband.
I was so livid I rang up the company to complain I spoke to a very nice gentleman who apologised and after I had also told them my husband had been told that we would be black listed ! We received a letter of apology.
However the same companys name crops up from time to time on the tv for their sales approach.
Jane

[Nicolina]

My problems have been with a certain Bank that doesn't like the word "No". I've had calls before 8 a.m. and after 10p.m. from their Call Centre (somewhere on the Indian sub-continent) and repeatedly told them that financial matters will not be discussed on the phone. I've even been into the Bank and told them not to phone my ex-Directory number and they finally listened - until 2 months ago, when they started again. I should add that I have not had an account with them for years.
Unfortunately I cannot ignore calls that show as "Unknown" because I have a lot of family overseas and it might just be one of them phoning. I am considering keeping a loud whistle near the phone. Maybe a blast or two of that will get the message through, finally.

[Sue Mackay]

Sometimes wrong numbers can be right numbers by accident. I picked up the phone once and a voice said: "Is that Dyffryn House?" At the time I was secretary of the croquet club that happens to play in the grounds of Dyffryn House, so I explained that they had the wrong number and gave them the correct one. The voice was American, and before ringing off she explained that she was in the area for the day and wanted to see the house where her grandmother had been in service. I was able to tell her that the house was no longer open to the public, but arranged to meet her by the croquet lawns, where I could show her a printout of her grandmother on the 1901 census. I also knew the one gardener who has made a study of the history of the house and introduced them. She was a happy bunny that day :D

[Browneyes]

Finbar that was hilarious.

My son was thinking of reclaiming bank charges (until we found out there can be negative implications particularly if it's a very small amount) so he contacted what looked like a reputable company online. They sent a brochure through but the small print was ridiculous. Five times after that we had calls from other companies about the same thing and whether we'd be eligible for the government loan write off schemes. One came through from an indian gentleman - I said we weren't interested but he didn't understand me and I didn't understand him. I tried very hard to make it clear we do not give out personal information over the phone and if they really wanted to they could post something, then said "I'm putting the phone down now" and did. He'd mumbled something that sounded like "Yes, I will pass this onto my Manager". Two minutes later his Manager called, an English lady who apologised and said "Oh so you're not interested. He shouldn't have passed it on to me if you weren't prepared to give details over the phone". As soon as I'd put the phone down it rang again and another man started the whole thing all over again then said "Oh, sorry, it's just come up on the screen". If he hadn't gone then I was going to say "Please carry on, I'll go and make a cuppa while you're talking..."

[Carmy]

Most of the telesales calls I get are from the US. I have called ID so I know the area code is US. This Canadian city has well over a million people and supports businesses of all types, so why do American companies think I'd want to buy from them?

Sometimes I pick up the phone without checking the ID. If it's a US telemarketer, I answer, put the receiver on the desk, and walk away. If you listen in when you do this, you'll hear them trying to disconnect the line. It takes a while before the disconnection automatically kicks in. In the meantime, they've lost the ability to call and harass a couple of others. Eventually, they get wise to the trick, delete my number from their auto-dialling list, and stop calling. Works every time, but it may take weeks to have an effect.

[spison]

Last year I was home sick from work and trying to sleep and received one of 'those' calls beginning with "Hello how are you today?"

The ensuing conversation then went something like this...
Me: "Well actually I'm not well"
Him: "Thats good. I am calling from....... about......
Me: "Did you hear what I said?
Him: (Pause) "That you were not well?"
Me: This floored me but I calmly said "That's exactly right!" and "very politely" terminated the call with no further warning. Amazing!

Jane

[Davran]

Last year I was home sick from work and trying to sleep and received one of 'those' calls beginning with "Hello how are you today?"

Jane

That's the sort of call that really gets my goat. I know it's their training, but it really is over-familiar when they are making a business call. You know they couldn't give a fig how you are, but are just trying to butter you up. I do believe in being friendly (and I speak from many years of using the phone at work) as it helps to oil the wheels and promote good relationships with people you deal with on the phone - someone will appreciate a bit of sympathy if you can hear they have a stinking cold or are having a bad day.

However, I do think that phoning people in their own home is quite different from a call to a place of business, so should be handled with more thought. I can't think of anyone who likes these calls. I personally resent them invading my home and personal time.

[Guest]

We are registered with the Telephone Preference Service so hardly ever get this sort of call. If we do it is usually from overseas and I usually just hang up on them.

Once, though, had a call from someone trying to sell me a mobile phone on the Orange network when I must have been feeling mischievous |angel|.

I had the guy tied in knots for quite a while by deliberately misunderstanding what he said, telling him that the phone I was using was black, not orange and that it was a landline, not a mobile and it was no good offering me free texts because my phone wasn't capable of sending text.

It must have been 5 minutes or so before he twigged what I was up to. Strangely we never had any more calls from that company :D

Graham

[Carmy]

I am considering keeping a loud whistle near the phone. Maybe a blast or two of that will get the message through, finally.

Be careful. We've had a few court cases over here where people have been sued because of a caller's hearing damage by such a blast.

[Spangle]

Being a qualified ref, I did have a whistle which I used to great effect when I got unwanted sales calls. Now I have a daughter who can scream louder than ANY whistle. She comes in quite handy!

I was taught to referee footie at the age of 14 by the man who later became my step-father. He'd often get calls from clubs requiring a ref for the next match and most callers were lovely. However, one sticks in my mind who was a little less than polite, and, me being me and hating rudeness, he got taught a lesson.

I answered the phone in my usual cheery manner one day at the family home, my mother and step-dad having gone out, to hear, "Joe Bloggs".

Not a please, not a may I speak to, just, "Joe Bloggs". So, I put the phone down and waited. Sure enough, matey came back and again all he demanded was "Joe Bloggs".

"I beg your pardon?", says I, incredulously.

"Joe Bloggs", matey demanded.

I couldn't resist it. "No", I said, "I'm Jane Smith".

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not Joe Bloggs, I'm Jane Smith".

"I want to speak to Joe Bloggs", he replied.

"Do you? Thats nice.", I said, trying not to snigger.

"Is Joe Bloggs there?" came the reply.

"Listen pal, he might be, but until you can ask politely and say please you won't know will you".

I put the phone down. A minute later he was back. "Hello!", I chimed.

A very contrite voice responded, "Can I speak to Joe Bloggs... PLEASE!"

I don't think he was impressed with my cheerful but truthful answer...

"Well done! That wasn't so difficult, was it? Now, I'm sorry but he isn't in. Can I take a message?" |jumphappy

[Astoria]

I have a solicitor friend who asked a new office junior to send a confidential fax to a client, she put it in an envelope marked confidential :D