pottoka
10-10-2008, 2:03 PM
Family lore had it that my grandfather's half-sister had a sweetheart who fought in the First World War and came home gassed and an invalid, so they never married, but she looked after him for the rest of his life.
My father can remember his aunt and the invalid as he used to visit them regularly until the Second World War broke out. However, he could not for the life of him remember the man's surname - just that he was 'Uncle Bob'.
My father is not getting any younger, and I didn't want to wait for the 1911 Census, which might not have given me much help anyway. I found someone who looked at the Electoral Registers after the war, when I knew Bob was living in the family home. I checked the name with my father who recognised it immediately.
Then to A* and the WW1 records. I found Bob's medal card and service records. But he had been demobbed. That didn't sound right for a soldier who had been gassed. And one of the papers was a claim for an award on disability grounds, but it was rejected, as the disability was neither due to nor aggravated by the war. He actually had Paralysis Agitans, or Parkinson's Disease.
I then trawled through the records to find his death and that of his sweetheart, and sent off for the certificates. She died just a year after him - obviously because her reason for living had been taken away from her, as far as I was concerned. I also decided to apply for their wills, convinced that Bob's would say something about the loving care and devotion shown to him.
What a shock! Bob died in 1941. He had made his will in 1926, leaving everything to ... my grandfather's sister, not their half-sister!
So where did the family myth spring from? Certainly Bob was an invalid. He was of an age with the half-sister, but 10 years older than the sister. The half-sister was never trained for a job; on her death certificate, it says for occupation "spinster housekeeper, domestic daughter of ..", so she would have been at home, looking after everybody and Bob in particular if he needed extra care. My father wonders now if he didn't make certain presumptions as a young lad - it was certainly a time when children didn't ask questions - and pass them on.
The sister who got the money was a teacher; so was Bob - perhaps that's how they met. She died in 1966, unmarried.
So I broke down the brick wall of who Bob was and in what condition he came back from the war. I even found out what was wrong with him (it was on his death certificate as well). But I have a new brick wall - just who was his sweetheart?
His will makes us believe that it has to be the teacher sister. His grave is no help as he was buried with his parents, a sister who died aged 4, and a sister-in-law. The tombstone gives his name and dates and "Infirmity patiently borne".
I know that even the Berlin Wall gave way in the end, but this one won't, as the only people who could tell us the truth are dead and buried. And I built it up with my own fair hands, by knocking down the one before http://bestsmileys.com/sad/5.gif
My father can remember his aunt and the invalid as he used to visit them regularly until the Second World War broke out. However, he could not for the life of him remember the man's surname - just that he was 'Uncle Bob'.
My father is not getting any younger, and I didn't want to wait for the 1911 Census, which might not have given me much help anyway. I found someone who looked at the Electoral Registers after the war, when I knew Bob was living in the family home. I checked the name with my father who recognised it immediately.
Then to A* and the WW1 records. I found Bob's medal card and service records. But he had been demobbed. That didn't sound right for a soldier who had been gassed. And one of the papers was a claim for an award on disability grounds, but it was rejected, as the disability was neither due to nor aggravated by the war. He actually had Paralysis Agitans, or Parkinson's Disease.
I then trawled through the records to find his death and that of his sweetheart, and sent off for the certificates. She died just a year after him - obviously because her reason for living had been taken away from her, as far as I was concerned. I also decided to apply for their wills, convinced that Bob's would say something about the loving care and devotion shown to him.
What a shock! Bob died in 1941. He had made his will in 1926, leaving everything to ... my grandfather's sister, not their half-sister!
So where did the family myth spring from? Certainly Bob was an invalid. He was of an age with the half-sister, but 10 years older than the sister. The half-sister was never trained for a job; on her death certificate, it says for occupation "spinster housekeeper, domestic daughter of ..", so she would have been at home, looking after everybody and Bob in particular if he needed extra care. My father wonders now if he didn't make certain presumptions as a young lad - it was certainly a time when children didn't ask questions - and pass them on.
The sister who got the money was a teacher; so was Bob - perhaps that's how they met. She died in 1966, unmarried.
So I broke down the brick wall of who Bob was and in what condition he came back from the war. I even found out what was wrong with him (it was on his death certificate as well). But I have a new brick wall - just who was his sweetheart?
His will makes us believe that it has to be the teacher sister. His grave is no help as he was buried with his parents, a sister who died aged 4, and a sister-in-law. The tombstone gives his name and dates and "Infirmity patiently borne".
I know that even the Berlin Wall gave way in the end, but this one won't, as the only people who could tell us the truth are dead and buried. And I built it up with my own fair hands, by knocking down the one before http://bestsmileys.com/sad/5.gif