brianb
22-05-2008, 2:06 PM
Stuck at another brick wall|banghead|, so .................|computer|
Confucius didn’t say:
1. Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes ……………….then if he gets angry your a mile away and he’s barefoot.
2. A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.
3. If you musty choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
4. Housework …..its easy to sweep the room with a glance.
5. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
6. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
7. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
8. If you look like your passport photo you probably need the trip.
9. Always yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.
10. Bills travel through the postal system at twice the speed of cheques.
11. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
12. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
13. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
14. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
15. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
16. Going to church doesn’t actually make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage would make you a mechanic.
17. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
18. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
20. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
21. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
22. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
23. Tell a man there are 1000 billion stars in our galaxy and he'll believe you; show him a 'Wet Paint' sign and he has to check for himself.
Ah well, back to the brick walls ...........
Have a good day folks.|wave|
Brian
Confucius didn’t say:
1. Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes ……………….then if he gets angry your a mile away and he’s barefoot.
2. A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.
3. If you musty choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
4. Housework …..its easy to sweep the room with a glance.
5. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
6. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
7. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
8. If you look like your passport photo you probably need the trip.
9. Always yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.
10. Bills travel through the postal system at twice the speed of cheques.
11. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
12. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
13. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
14. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
15. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
16. Going to church doesn’t actually make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage would make you a mechanic.
17. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
18. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
20. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
21. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
22. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
23. Tell a man there are 1000 billion stars in our galaxy and he'll believe you; show him a 'Wet Paint' sign and he has to check for himself.
Ah well, back to the brick walls ...........
Have a good day folks.|wave|
Brian