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brianb
19-03-2008, 3:47 PM
|laugh1|

Oh dear, sorry folks, couldnt resist it.......






Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb As digging continues into the night!

|nopity|

A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"


Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.



Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.


What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.



A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy".


Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...



and finally.....

Two blondes walk into a building....you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.


hope I havent upset too many ......

Brian

v.wells
19-03-2008, 4:10 PM
|jumphappy

Pretty good!

keith9351
19-03-2008, 5:22 PM
The late great Tommy Cooper

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ' Is that the local swimming baths?' He said ' It depends where you're calling from.'

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind' ,
so he gave me a kite.

I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu.
So I went, and I got it.'

I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty.........but she's great with the kids!

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house'. He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1231/z7shysterical.gif

jeanettemarie
20-03-2008, 12:11 AM
just goes to show the oldies are the best:D|jumphappy

Sandra Parker
20-03-2008, 10:07 PM
How could I be upset, Brian? I'm not blonde!:D
Sandra