View Full Version : My favourite ever joke...
Jan1954
08-03-2008, 6:27 PM
So, Tonto and the Lone Ranger were travelling through the desert. It had been days since they had seen anyone and supplies were non-existent.
With stomachs rumbling, they set up camp. Collapsing exhausted, The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto.
“Tonto,” said the Lone Ranger.
“Yes, Kimusabe?” replied Tonto.
“About 2 days ride in that direction” said the Lone Ranger, pointing at the setting sun, “you will find a tree hanging with sides of bacon. Try to reach it and bring some back.”
“Yes, Kimusabe” said Tonto, and struggled to his feet.
He mounted his horse and, sighing with tiredness, slowly trotted off into the sunset.
Two days later, the Lone Ranger could see in the distance this bedraggled figure struggling to make it back to camp.
He rushed to his friends aid, only to find that Tonto had arrows sticking out all over him.
“Tonto, what happened?” cried the Lone Ranger.
“You lied, Kimusabe, you lied!” moaned Tonto.
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“That was no bacon tree - it was an ‘am bush!”
Alan Welsford
08-03-2008, 6:39 PM
Suddenly the Onion joke doesn't sound too bad after all!.
A.
v.wells
08-03-2008, 6:59 PM
The Lone Ranger was an old American western tv show back in the 50's I think.
It's more funny than the onion joke!
Davran
08-03-2008, 7:50 PM
Oh dear, they are getting worse and worse!!! |biggrin|
Good old Lone Ranger. I used to love all those old westerns when I was a teenager........... Wells Fargo, The Maverick, Bonanza, Bronco Lane. I loved all those horses, which galloped at phenomenal speed across the screen.
Geoffers
08-03-2008, 8:27 PM
It reminds me of another old joke about Tonto and the Lone Ranger.
They are stuck in the middle of nowhere, indians coming towards them from all sides, their end looks certain.
Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and says, "Well old friend, looks like we're in real trouble now."
Tonto puts some distance between him and the Lone Ranger and replies, "what do you mean, 'we're in trouble', white man?"
But my favourite joke of all time.................What's red and sticky and sits in a pram?
Answer - A baby sucking a razor blade
Yuck...............Go on, Mutley, find a little cartoon for that!
Davran
08-03-2008, 8:50 PM
Geoffers, that is SICK! |scold||biggrin|
jeanettemarie
08-03-2008, 11:01 PM
groan-......... I think they are getting worse|biggrin|
Mike_E
08-03-2008, 11:02 PM
But my favourite joke of all time.................
No, sorry, that's just wrong,
What's brown and sticky?
A Stick.
And....
what's Red and invisible?
No Tomatoes
Jan1954
08-03-2008, 11:05 PM
No, sorry, that's just wrong,
What's brown and sticky?
A Stick.
And....
what's Red and invisible?
No Tomatoes
http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee187/Jan_07/laugh.gif
That's my type of humour...
Davran
08-03-2008, 11:08 PM
Do you remember all those weird 'elephant' jokes?
Geoffers
08-03-2008, 11:12 PM
Do you remember all those weird 'elephant' jokes?
What, like the old Basil Brush joke?....................Two elephants fell down a cliff
Boom, Boom.
Jan1954
08-03-2008, 11:36 PM
Do you remember all those weird 'elephant' jokes?
How do you get 4 elephants into a mini?
2 in the front and 2 in the back.
How do you get 4 giraffes into a mini?
You can't - it's full of elephants.
Alan Welsford
08-03-2008, 11:40 PM
How do you get 4 elephants into a mini?
2 in the front and 2 in the back.
How do you get 4 giraffes into a mini?
You can't - it's full of elephants.
How do you get 2 whales in a Mini ?
Down the M4 and across the Severn bridge.
(Hmmm - that one doesn't really work written down goes it ? :o )
Mutley
09-03-2008, 12:07 AM
But my favourite joke of all time.................What's red and sticky and sits in a pram?
Answer - A baby sucking a razor blade
Yuck...............Go on, Mutley, find a little cartoon for that!
Yuck Geoffers, you are awful:D
http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i144/mouseanne13/bloody.gif
You would not believe how many images are available, I feel sick!!!
v.wells
09-03-2008, 1:58 AM
|biggrin|And only you could find a good one! Too much!
I love this one:
---
Very late at night.
A drunk man on the street.
A cop stops him and asks:
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to listen to a lecture about the harm of drunkenness and alcoholism.
- At night?….. And who's giving this lecture?
- My wife and mother-in-law will!
I think some sort of health warning should be given to this thread :D
Ann (who wishes she could remember jokes......)
busyglen
10-03-2008, 11:10 AM
I think some sort of health warning should be given to this thread :D
Ann (who wishes she could remember jokes......)
You are not alone Ann.....I used to get really annoyed when relating a joke I'd just heard to my husband.....I'd get to the punch line, and find I couldn't remember it!!! Hubby always says `don't bother' when I try to tell him a joke now. I wonder why??|oopsredfa
Glenys
Ladkyis
10-03-2008, 3:10 PM
My poor husband waited three weeks for the punchline of a joke. My cousin told it to me and I repeated it to Mr M. I arrived at the punchline and my mind was blank. Cousin was on holiday so we had to wait three weeks for him to come home. When we finally got the punch line no-one laughed so obviously that joke didn't keep very well.
keith9351
10-03-2008, 4:47 PM
I like the Dr Watson one
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
http://www.smiley-channel.de/grafiken/smiley/camping/smiley-channel.de_camping001.gif
MythicalMarian
10-03-2008, 11:08 PM
I can compete in the groanability stakes! :D
A man goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I think I'm a moth'.
The Doctor smiles sympathetically, but says, 'Well, I don't know why you've come to me. You should visit the Psychiatrist down the road.'
The man looks miserable and says: 'Yes - I was on my way there, but I saw your light was on'.
Blame my work colleague Maureen - yes, I'll name and shame her in public :D
Mutley
10-03-2008, 11:48 PM
There is a fine dividing line between a smile and a grimace
:) / http://www.smileys4me.com/getsmiley.php?show=111
Both will do me!
BeeE586
18-03-2008, 1:31 PM
What is more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant into a Mini ?
Answer; getting an elephant pregnant in a Mini.
How does an elephant get down from a very tall tree ?
Answer; sits on a leaf and waits till autumn.
Sorry !!!!
Eileen
busyglen
18-03-2008, 2:42 PM
What is more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant into a Mini ?
Answer; getting an elephant pregnant in a Mini.
How does an elephant get down from a very tall tree ?
Answer; sits on a leaf and waits till autumn.
Sorry !!!!
Eileen
Like it.....!:D:D
Glenys
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