The Parrot

[tony vines]

A young man named John was given a parrot. However the parrot had a really bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Everything the parrot said was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird's vocabulary.

John finally lost his cool and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and more rude! In desperation John grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer! For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed. Then there was total silence! Not a peep was heard for over a minute!

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."

John was stunned by the change in the bird's attitude! He was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour when the bird said..

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

[Sue Mackay]

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[lisa66]

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Got very excited as I thought you had some news of my Grandma- you guessed her surname- yes, Parrot. V. Good though.

[tony vines]

Sorry Lisa!

[Neil Wilson]

But was the turkey stuffed!

[Mutley]

But was the turkey stuffed!

Maybe that's the point Neil .........http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m214/SageCat/EMOHAaFun034.gif

[tony vines]

But was the turkey stuffed!

I should think that the turkey was well and truly plucked!:D

[jeeb]

A farmer goes into his field one morning and all his cows are frozen solid and lifeless. He doesn't know what to do and runs out into the lane crying. A little old lady is walking her dog along the lane and stops and asks him what the matter is. He tells her all his cows are frozen solid. "Here hold the dog a minute," she says. The little old lady walks up to the first cow and blows up its nostril and it starts walking about and grazing again. The farmer watches in amazement as she goes to each cow and blows up its nostril and they all come back to life.
She calmly takes her dog and walks away. What is your name he shouts after her. (Wait for it, its so pathetic its funny) The old lady turns round and says "don't you recognise me, I'm Thora Hurd"

Jeremy

[Mutley]

For the 'youngsters'

This is she

http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r297/MutleyBG/Thorahurd.jpg

[jeanettemarie]

I log in every morning, and read the post It starts my day and I cant stop laughing, its brilliant, |laugh1||laugh1||laugh1||laugh1||jumphappy