funerals/deceased infants - very cheery!!!!

[louise renfrey]

Can anyone tell me about the following? Would a married lady attend the funeral service/burial of her dead baby infants, or was it a man only affair? Secondly, would the lady wear black for the babies and for what length of time? The year we have this in our tree is 1870's and they would have been considered middle class. I await with baited breath...........Seriously thanks in advance!!!!!!

[ChristineR]

there is a description of an infants funeral according to a woman born later than you are asking - but good insight.

http://www.british-genealogy.com/forums/search.php?searchid=429799

Christine

[louise renfrey]

Thank you for the reply - sadly the page does not connect to anywhere!!!!! Will try to search, somehow, but if you please re-input. Thank you so much.

[Mike_E]

I did a search on this forum for infant funerals.

http://www.british-genealogy.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5536&highlight=infant+funerals

may have been this thread?

Rgds
Mike

[ChristineR]

that's the one I meant, thanks Mike, I used the wrong page to link to obviously.

[louise renfrey]

Bought an absolutely fab paperback whilst on holiday in York recently. Its called 'The Victorian House' by Judith Flanders, isbn 0 00 713189 5, cost £9.99.It goes through the rooms of the house but also includes a lot of Victorian etiquette, manners and other things. I can really recommend it to you all - an excellent read and very informative. There is a section towards the back regarding mourning , times and dress etc. For an infant its three months mourning. There is also a hard back book by same author about Victorian pastimes - that has been put away for Christmas! Hope its as good as this one!!!!!!

[warmnet]

I am continually overwhelmed when I look at the lists of children these ancestors had. From age 20 to 40-something they were producing a baby every two years.

Imagine the impact on the woman's body. Imagine the relationship between the parents!!!

In an age of lifestylers that we live in it's just unfathomable.

And then losing so many along the way.
Phew!

as a mother of two little ones, I wonder how long they breastfed their babies for and what they used for nappies!

[v.wells]

One of my ancestors lost 3 daughters at various times at ages 5, 7 and 9. The last one that died had names of the previous 2. I felt incredibly sorry for this woman. My sister with whom I discussed this with yesterday, said that was why they always had such large families as some of the children were not expected to survive. She said that because of their hard lives they were much stronger women than we are. But I am sure that some women did indeed fall apart! I have ordered death certs for the ones that died early and if it was today, they would still live due to medical advances and technology.

[joette]

My GG Grandparents lost their infant son-aged two who was found drowned in a pond.
My Grandmother had a mourning brooch passed onto her from this Grandmother.I loved it & was promised it but it was stolen in a burglary.
It contained a lock of hair of little William McKimmie's.The inscription read on the rear "Amo" There was a picture of his Mother in it too.
They were working class & this was the late 1860's.

[David Annis]

My grandmother on my fathers side gave birth to 14 children. Five of which died between 0yrs and 12yrs. Rueben, aged 12, born 1904, drowned in the river Avon. He tried to walk on the river when it was frozen and fell through. His body, I have been told, was not found untill the spring.
They all lived in a small, two up two down terraced house. How they coped beggers belief. As soon as the girls reached about 11 years old they were sent into service. The boys were kept as they could earn a weekly wage.
Try telling that to the kids of today. They wouldnt belive you.
Cheers.
Dave.

Ok we used to live in a paper bag in middle of tut road------

[Jan1954]

Bought an absolutely fab paperback whilst on holiday in York recently. Its called 'The Victorian House' by Judith Flanders, isbn 0 00 713189 5, cost £9.99.It goes through the rooms of the house but also includes a lot of Victorian etiquette, manners and other things.

There is a similar website here:

http://logicmgmt.com/1876/intro.htm

[warmnet]

There's another book that comes up on google search.

Behind the Plough: Agrarian society in nineteenth century Hertfordshire. Author Nigel Agar. Looks terrific.
I can't get it in Australia but can order it online. Has anyone read that?

Regards
Diane

[suedent]

My great nan born in 1888 was one of at least 16 children. I have found 16 baptisms but a cousin has told me that there were 21 in total.
The cottage where they lived for at least part of the time has now been knocked into the neighbouring cottage & is still only a snug three bedroom cottage.

I have to say that they made them tough in those days as my gg-nan lived to be 84.

My great-nan herself had 14 children, 2 dying in infancy. I really don't know how she coped. When her seventh child died of TB of the intestines at 19 months (having been ill for 6 months) she had 6 children under 10 and the youngest of those was only 2. When her last child died at 7 months old she had 11 children under 16 living at home, the youngest of those were still toddlers.

I had four in about 7 years and that was plenty to cope with, and mine were all fighting fit.

[David Annis]

But in the main they survived without a National Health Service, Pensions and
State Wellfare. Endured poor food and went hungry many times, living in dire housing conditions, but they still survived.
They also did not have political corectness, human rights and a growing police state. Orwells 1984 was not heard of then but its blossoming faster than anyone realizes now.

Dave. |soapbox|

[margaretparkin]

Well of course they coped they were very proud and good old workimg class

However unlike today they lived within their means in the lat 1950s my grandparents did not posses a telephone tv car fridge central heating and yet they had a good life

Every payday money was put into envelopes and went behind the mantlepiece clock rent gas meter electricity meter after that they would budget their week how very different from today

[Billie O'Brien]

Thank you Joette for your effort on my account, I will do as you suggest and see how I go.

[vic1]

my grandad was one of 14 children all born approx 2 years apart except for the eldest there was a 4 year gap believe ggran to have been 16 at beggining and last one she was 44 approx on.was told by gran aged 92(2007) they didn't always use nappies but cloths strategically placed under clothing. breast feeding well you had to wean at least partially to be able to feed the next one. and the older children especially if girls had to lok after the younger I know my grandads eldest sister left home to go nursing as soon as she could get away and did not return home for a long time and harboured a distate for her younger siblings due to the amount of time she put in with them - intrestringly i also had a great gran who did not have her first child till she was 45 !!!!! she had here second at 47 but was so weak with tb both her and the child succumbed to it soon after. the one with 14 kids lived to be in her late 60s and all her children lived to their 80s and 90s except for the eldest and youngest

[MythicalMarian]

Just to detract from all the hardship stories, I must share with you my own gran's experiences. She had 13 children, 11 of whom survived. She quoted her own 'Mama' (she always used that word) regarding childbirth: 'Now that you have had that child, Gertie, you must remain in bed for fourteen days. Then, I will allow you up to sit by the fire for a further ten days with a pillow under your feet. You must do nothing.'

I'm not kidding - this was the advice! When my mum had her own first baby and gran still insisted on having my mum go round to do the housework, my mum had to say: 'Hah! This isn't what your 'Mama' said, is it?' It seemed there was one rule for gran and one for mum. And apparently, my gran was so busy lying-in for all her births and resting afterwards that I don't think she lifted another finger for the rest of her life. She had all her daughters running around after her, while she would supervise from her couch and tell them when they'd 'missed a bit' in the dusting. Her house was like a new pin and I wasn't allowed to leave fingermarks or touch any ornaments. If I was good she used to 'let' me do some dusting for her!

She was a real character, a true product of the Victorian age. Her parents were 'white collar' and boy, did it show!

[yorkshirecath]

I am continually overwhelmed when I look at the lists of children these ancestors had. From age 20 to 40-something they were producing a baby every two years.

Imagine the impact on the woman's body. Imagine the relationship between the parents!!!

In an age of lifestylers that we live in it's just unfathomable.

And then losing so many along the way.
Phew!

as a mother of two little ones, I wonder how long they breastfed their babies for and what they used for nappies!

My grandmother, born in 1899, more or less had a baby every yr for almost 20 yrs! She had 16 children in all and 2 of them died in infancy.
You don't see it much these days do you thankfully!

[susan-y]

Just think how much harder yet it would be to trace our families if our ancestors had only had one or two children. Alot of information I have received has been found when I have located a descendant of a sibling of someone I am researching.
Thank you ancestors!

[MythicalMarian]

Just think how much harder yet it would be to trace our families if our ancestors had only had one or two children. Alot of information I have received has been found when I have located a descendant of a sibling of someone I am researching.
Thank you ancestors!

Indeed, Susan! I am particularly grateful to those who began well before civil registration and continued a couple of years past 1837 with their youngest. May the gods bless them all!

[warmnet]

My Nan was the eldest of 11 surviving children. The little legends that get passed down include that:- Great-Nan was only 4ft9in and apparently used to do 2 sittings at the table for meals and chase them around the table with a carving knife to keep them in check!!! Also, apparently my Nan used to look after all the younger ones AND go out scrubbing steps before work, to bring money in to put food on the table.